Life Goes On....

I know it has been several months since my last post, there has been many changes in our lives.  The biggest of which is we have reconciled with our daughter Elizabeth and we now have a granddaughter from her!! 

Belle Elise Medina was born on August 8, weighing in at 6 pounds 15 ounces and 19 1/2 inches.  We couldn't be prouder of our daughter and son-in-law!!

Our granddaughter is so beautiful!!  So much hair!! Now as I write this she is one month old and weighs 10 pounds!! We are preparing for her Christening on September 30th.  We have not seen her since she was 48 hours old and I can't wait to hold her again!!! Living 200 miles her it is hard to spoil her, but when I get the chance, I am going to hold her as much as I can and love on her and spoil her as much as I can for the two days we are with her. 

I have just loved all the pictures Beth and Derek have posted on Facebook.  I download all of them to my computer hard drive and my cellphone.  I have printed a few of them and show them off to my friends.  My friends think Belle is so beautiful and of course Grandma does not disagree!!  

Here are a couple of more photos of my beautiful girl:

I think from now on I might be better about updating this blog because I have more to write about!! God Bless!!!

New Year 2012

The new year has been under way now for 22 days and I have been lazy about posting, so what is new...LOL! I started the new year with a bad cold and a sinus infection, the cough is hanging on.

We have been trying to get things planned for James and Brittany's wedding, we have to pay for and plan the rehearsal dinner. It will be fun putting together a video of their lives, I will really enjoy looking through the photos of them when they were younger.

Ben has moved out to try living on his own, our house is truly an empty nest now. This is a hard time for me. I miss my children so much, there is so much emptiness in my heart. I find myself playing on the computer more just so I don't cry so much, I helps so that I don't have so many headaches, but it really doesn't ease the heartaches. I told the kids I miss them and really need to see them at least once a month, they said they will try to make the time, I pray they will.

Well that's all for now, God Bless everyone!

Christmas 2011

This year I just can't seem to get into the Christmas mood at all! I just want Christmas to be over with! I also want this year to be over with! If it could go wrong it has! There has only been four good highlights this year...James and Brittany's engagement, Nicole's birth, I have lost 61 pounds and Mom & Dad's Golden Anniversary!! Other than those this year has totally sucked!!! I won't rehash the problems on here but let's just say they just make the national debt look good!! So it is no wonder I have depression that is a bottomless pit. I have sought the help of my primary care physician and a therapist. Some days it is all I can do to get out of bed, but I have too, I am after all taking care of Brooklyn. If you don't find me online playing a game, then you might find me in my room watching tv, staring off into space or crying. Seems I can't even make this blog make sense right now, better stop while I am ahead.

Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving 2011 is coming fast. This year I am so Thankful for my family as I know so many others are. I know it is said so many times it such a cliche, but so true! I have such a large family that it is so hard to Thank them individually but I should, so here goes. Thank you for being a part of my life David, James, Brittany, Elizabeth, Ben, Mom, Dad, Michelle, Chelsea, Chance, Brooklyn, Jenni, Mark, Katie, Jonathan, Larissa, Jacob, Matthew, Tanya, Mike, Jon, Matt, Emma, Nate, and Nicole...I love you all! This is my immediate family but the cousins and Aunts and Uncles are just as important and Loved. Thank you all my friends, there are too many of you to name but you all mean so much to me!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ONE AND ALL!!!

My "Baby" turned 19

On September 9, my youngest son turned 19 and entered the last year of his teen years! Where have the years gone? I know every mother asks this, but I really mean it. My oldest is getting married in May, my daughter is getting married then too and not talking to us, and now my "baby" is in his last year of being a teenager and truly an adult. He is in college, he just got his first job, and he is starting to pay his own way. It won't be long till he is on his own. The empty nest syndrome I have long been dreading is starting to set in.

Another milestone hit very close to this one, my Dad turned 69 on September 13th. I can't believe he will be 70 next year. He seems so young too! He has survived a stroke and a heart attack and yet he still manages to do all his own yard work and anything else he sets his mind too!! Remember he and Mom just celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary in August!! I think he will be around for a lot longer!

Ben - 15 months - Fairbury, Illinois visiting Great Grandpa Zehr, we were at Aunt Sue and Uncle Eddie's house in a park playing in the mud.

50 Years of Marriage

August 12, 1961, my parents, Grace and Jim Oakes were married in the oldest Baptist church in Columbia, South Carolina. On August 12, 2011, they celebrated their 50th Anniversary with a surprise party which we girls planned an entire year for. It was such a joy to pull this party off and see their faces as they saw friends they had not seen for years and then to see family that had travel hundreds of miles to be there. It was worth all the lying and stress to enjoy and endure the tears and hugs. We all had a wonderful time that turned into several days of visits and stories. I hope the following photos will share the joy of the event, they are only a few of the hundreds that were taken.

Welcome to the World "Nickel"

We have a new niece!! Nicole Leiann Morrison was born July 17 weighing in at 7 pounds 13 ounces and measuring 19 1/2 inches. Tanya and Mike are so happy. The doctors had to use suction to get her out, so she had a nasty bruise and scrape on her head but otherwise she is beautiful. Everyone is enjoying spoiling the newest addition to the family.

James Graduation

June 18, 2011

James Ronald Zehr

Magna Cum Laude

3.87 GPA

Alpha Beta Kappa Honors Society

College America

May Thoughts in June

I know it is now June 8 and I am a bit late posting my thoughts for May, but it was a rough month. First the good thoughts, our 23rd Wedding Anniversary was May 14th so that was cause for celebration. Not many people can say they are still married after 23 years, but we are, although there have been many rough years. May also brought the passing of the first year of Brooklyn Jade's first year of life...Yea!! She has brought so much joy to this family.

May also brought us closer to my sister Tanya's due date for her latest addition to her family. She is expecting her newest little girl in July, Nicole should arrive around the 19th.

We also celebrated the announcement of two engagements, James & Brittany and Elizabeth & Derek. Both couples will be getting married next spring! We are so excited for both couples and yet we are also anticipating the bills! Along with the joy of this, came heartache, there was conflict with the dates for the weddings. When it all settled, Elizabeth was no longer speaking to any of us, effective May 14, our anniversary! As of this posting, she as not contacted us by phone, Facebook, email, text or regular mail. To say this is hurting me is an understatement, but to say it is also helping ease my stress is a helpful statement.

I find not arguing with her eases the stress I was having and helps with the migraines but does not ease the hurt on my heart. I find the hurt similar to grief felt from the loss of a death, you have to take it moment to moment. I pray she will come around and realize how much I love her and how much her family loves her. I pray she will realize how much she loves her family and how much she needs us. For now that is all I can do, other than express my love for her on here. I love you Elizabeth!!! Please remember that always!!

God Bless Everyone!

April 2011 Thoughts

April is almost gone and I see it is time to post my thoughts for the month. Yesterday we celebrated James' 22nd birthday, where have the years gone? It only seems like yesterday that he was toddling around here taking things apart and sucking his thumb. I miss those days and yet I love that he is grown and on his own, graduating in a few weeks with his Associates Degree in Medical Assisting, I also love that he and Brittany are planning their wedding for next year, she is going to be a great addition to our family.

April also brought about the graduation from high school for Ben. He completed his GED requirements, passed the tests and got his diploma. He did all this in less than a week and with better than average scores. He even got a certificate from College America for passing the tests in less than a week. Then he started college classes right away, taking Graphic Design. He kept his promise to me months ahead of schedule. I am so proud of him! When the family got together for Easter, we had a graduation celebration at the same time for him. He loved it, he even got some gifts!

We got news from Elizabeth, she and Derek have set a date for their wedding, May 19, 2012! We are happy for them and are planning to be there to give our daughter away. Ben has been asked to be a part of the wedding party and has agreed. We are happy to be adding another son to our expanding family! Next year is going to be really busy with two weddings!

May God Bless everyone who reads my rantings!

March Thoughts

It has been a few months since I posted anything so I thought I should say something.....SOMETHING...LOL!!!

Life has been good or than an occasional bump. I have gotten to the level where my doctor wants me to be for my medication for now that is to help with my migraines. For now it seems to be helping like it should, when I take it every day like I should. I have found if I miss a day, I will have a severe headache the next day, so I am trying to make sure I do not miss a day. I am still taking care of Brooklyn every day and enjoying it, she is such a joy. She makes me so anxious to have grandchildren and yet I can wait for the kids to finish college.

James should be finished with the first part of his degree in June and be ready to test to be a Certified Medical Assistant, then hopefully on to Nursing school. Brittany will have another year to finish her degree in Nursing Business Management.

Ben has had a bit of a set back in his high school, seems Aurora Public schools did not calculate his credits correctly and did not set his schedule up properly to keep him on track to graduate in May. So he must attend another semester and not graduate until December of 2011 or May of 2012 depending on his choice of classes and if he wants to get in some college classes or not. With the fact he is 18, he can make this decision all on his own and may decide to just get his GED and go on to college sooner instead of waiting to finish traditional high school. It does concern me a bit but what can I do when he is 18 and he does have a mind of his own, he has the right to make his own decisions about his life, I have to realize this and accept it.

Our home is fast becoming an empty nest, it is nice at times and at times it is very lonely. I like being able to do what I want, when I want but I also miss being able to spend the time with my kids, but after all, they aren't kids anymore, I have to remember that.

Life in 2010

Since life has been kind of tough and made it impossible to send out Christmas cards or a letter updating everyone on our life this year. This seems to be a good way to do it for free.

This year had its many ups and downs, many financial pitfalls that we seem to be recovering from albeit very slowly. David is still doing very well since his hip replacement surgeries in 2007, the doctors see no problems other than he moves a bit slower and does not motivate on stairs very well. He is having difficulty losing the weight he gained from the medication and the lack of movement he experienced over the course of two years, but if it comes off slowly it should stay off.

James turned 21 in April and became engaged to a wonderful girl, Brittany in July. A wedding date is a couple of years away with college degrees looming over their heads. He is working towards his RN in NICU care and she is working on a BA in Medical Office Management. Here are a couple of photos of James on his birthday when he celebrated with some friends and his cousins.

Elizabeth is engaged to Derek Medina and living with him in Trinidad, CO. She turns 20 in January. She seems happy, but is not really communicating with me due to many problems. Most of my friends who are mothers will understand the problems that come between Mothers and Daughters and let's just leave it at that.

Ben turned 18 in September and should graduate from high school in May. He is doing his final year at home online and seems to be loving it. He is talking about college or going into the military. He is still undecided about going into Nursing, Criminal Investigation or Paramedics. Whatever he decides, I know he will do very well.

I am now babysitting for my great niece, Brooklyn, in an effort to help her mother out. My niece, Chelsea, is a single mother trying to work to support her daughter and herself in this horrible economy. I love the time I get to spend with her and the time I get to spend with my Mother since I watch the baby at Mom's, Chelsea and Brooklyn live with Mom and Dad. It is wonderful to have time with my Mom since I lived in Trinidad for 14 years and missed a lot.

We celebrated 22 years together in May, attended David's family reunion in Missouri in June, attended my 30 year class reunion in July, and my brother-in-law's surprise 50th birthday party in November. We had a large family Thanksgiving and Christmas and are planning a quiet New Year. We wish all of you a Happy New Year!!

Thankful and Turning 48

Very Thankful this year for my family and friends. Since we moved back to Aurora 2 years ago, things have changed in our lives. Some good, some bad, that's par for the course.

The good is we have a home that has enough room for all of us to be comfortable, even when overcrowded. We have many friends here and that's good cause we weren't sure how we would handle leaving all the friends we left in Trinidad.

The bad is that we still have not found that one church that God wants us to be in, but we know when the time is right, He will guide us there. We have lost everyday contact with our daughter and for the most part we don't hear from her for months on end. She did complain that I did not call often enough to check on her and Derek to satisfy her, but I have such a sad heart regarding the problems and the comments from her about how bad a mother I am, that I just can't bring myself to call more. I pray one day she will know how it feels and understand and come back into our lives.

Another good thing is this move has brought me back to being closer to my parents and my sisters and their families. We had a wonderful time this year at my sister Tanya's in-laws home, just like last year. Mike and Kandi are wonderful hosts and make for a great time of fellowship. There was so much food that we had some to bring home. For Christmas, we will be at my sister, Jennifer's new home. Can't wait to see all her decorations up for the first time in many years.

Money is still very tight and it will be a small Christmas but we are Blessed to include our future daughter-in-law in this year's activities. Brittany has become such a joy in our lives and has had a wonderful influence on James. They are talking about their wedding but it is still about 2 years away. I can't wait to take their engagement photos in the new year.

Today was bittersweet, I turned 48. Good in that my hubby prepared dinner and baked a cake for me. But sad in that I am only 2 years from 50! But then I think, it will be nice because by the time I do turn 50, my oldest should be married and possibly have a baby on the way to make me a Grandmother.

This has also been a wonderful time for me to get to know my nieces and nephews better. I am especially getting closer to my first great niece, Brooklyn. I have been doing daycare for her since her mom went back to work. I do know that God gives us children when we are young for a good reason, cause I am very tired each night, but I would not trade the bond I have with her for anything. It so reminds me of James and Michelle when she did my daycare for him while I worked. I remember being so jealous of her getting to see all the firsts but now I can sympathize with Chelsea as this is happening to her.

Thank you God for all my Blessings and please help me to be more patient and understanding of the things I need to.

Sad Time

For the past several years, my life has been in turmoil. Not just from the loss of David's job, his need for hip replacement, his health issues, or the move from Trinidad to Aurora, but due to many issues with my daughter, Elizabeth.

She blames me for her lack of popularity in school and lack of friends. She says I spoiled the boys but not her. She feels I don't care enough to call at least once a week to see how she is doing. I can't seem to figure out where this all comes from. I always allowed and sacrificed to let her take dance lessons, to do gymnastics, to be a cheerleader, to go to camp, to girl scouts, and be in band. Her Dad and I would do without many things in our lives to give our kids the privilege to participate in sports, cheer leading, band, gymnastics or whatever they wanted to do. We wanted them to be happy and be involved with different activities to keep busy and stay out of trouble, but also to be better citizens. I don't know how many times I put off buying something frivolous or some clothes I might have needed to be able to pay for registration for sports or buy uniforms or dresses for Homecoming or Prom. I know that a few times she had to wear a hand-me-down dress to Homecoming or Prom, but not always.

Everyone keeps telling me that I was not a bad mother, that I did everything I could to make all 3 kids happy. The boys don't resent me, so I can't understand why she does. I have come to believe it maybe the fact she has Bi-polar Disorder and really needs some help, but she can't see it and won't ask for help. The only thing she will ask for is more money or more things.

I have to move past this and get on with my life. I have to let her go and let her live her life until she realizes that people have not been mean to her and that we have been trying to help. Until that time I have to try to forget the ugly things she has said and concentrate on my life and my boys. I will survive and I will be praying for her everyday. I do love you, Elizabeth!

Time to Update...

I know I have been very lax in posting but sometimes I just don't have anything to share.

Since my last post, Ben has turned 18 and will be graduating May 2011. James is now living with his girlfriend most of the time. She rented a place close to us and we love it. Brittany and James are so happy and are doing great in school. Beth and Derek came up for Labor Day and went with us to Garden of the Gods. We all had a great time hiking and talking. They are now considering moving to Colorado Springs or Aurora...that would be wonderful!

Our niece, Chelsea had her baby in May, Brooklyn Jade is beautiful!! (See picture above) Chelsea is trying finish cosmetology school and get on her feet. I am now doing daycare for Brooklyn to help out, it is fun. I enjoyed taking her 3 month old photos the other day.

Mom and Dad are doing good, playing golf and working around the house. Mom had cataract surgery a couple of months ago and is seeing so much better. She now only needs to wear glassed to read.

God Bless Everyone! Keep in touch!!

James is 21

Where have the year's gone? My oldest baby is now 21! I remember that day and night so well, seems just yesterday. Start with 53 hours of labor, not being allowed to have any pain meds except in my IV, and 2 1/2 hours of pushing and into the world comes James Ronald Zehr at 1:05 am on April 26, 1989 at 8 lbs. 13 ozs. and 21 1/2 inches long. (When I can find them, I will post some pictures of the early years)

Thus began years of worry and love and lots of activities. From the start he was destined to be a sports fan and player. Mom and Dad came up to see us that afternoon with gifts in hand. Dad made sure they were sports themed. They brought him a referee outfit complete with an embroidered whistle, a golf sleeper that had a collar, a vest, and little flaps on the feet to resemble golf shoes, his first golf club and ball, and his first baseball mitt and ball. I had to laugh but I knew then there would be no way the first grandson was not going to be into sports. Little did we know then just how much.

Over the years he not only played baseball and golf, but he loved soccer, played and managed football, some basketball and even got in some time for a little gymnastics. He was a catcher for baseball and had quite a knack for knowing where the ball was at all times and for keeping it in front of him if it didn't stay in his glove. At age five, he found soccer in the AYSO (American Youth Soccer Oganization) in Trinidad and from there he grew into playing competitive 3v3 soccer for two years and high school soccer. He managed the football team his sophomore year at Trinidad High. The coaches watched him punt and kick at practice with the guys and asked him to play the next year, but it was not meant to be. When he made the decision to move to Aurora to finish high school JROTC at Hinkley, he did play soccer and tried to play football as the punter/kicker. Unfortunately it was not meant to be for football but he did play two years of soccer and did so well he lettered and was asked to try out for soccer teams at a couple of colleges.

To this day he stays involved in sports by playing softball when he can, refereeing soccer for a bit and especially watching everything he can on TV. But nowadays, his focus is on college and getting his Nursing degree. He is on the right path and will graduate from College America in June of 2011 with a degree in Medical Assisting then it is on to Nursing school.

Besides sports, James was a Cub Scout and Boy Scout reaching the rank of 1st Class before he moved to Aurora. He would have continued Boy Scouts here but did not find the troops in Aurora to be anything like the one in Trinidad, not as challenging.

I can't believe 21 years have gone by so fast. I wish I could have some of those back to enjoy them all over again. But there are more years ahead that should be just as good. I am looking forward to, but not rushing, his graduation, getting his 1st Nursing job, marriage and children. He has grown into a handsome, compassionate, loving young man.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!! I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR MOM!!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace”- Ephesians 1:7

HE IS RISEN! "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.'" John 11:25-26

James and Ben

James found out last night that he made the President's List at College America. What a joy for me to have a son doing so well at college. He has a 4.0 GPA and perfect attendance. I am praying this will continue until graduation in May 2011. He is loving his classes and making some really good friends. Hopefully this summer, he will be certified to work in a Nursing or Assisted Living Home or will be certified to work as a Phlebotomist and working in a blood bank or something close. Way to go James!! Keep up the good work!!

Ben is doing much better since switching to online classes. He is currently working on English and History, with a B or better in each class. He is ahead of schedule for the current classes and should be moving on to the next two very soon. He has also been invited to apply at Johnson & Wales University for early enrollment for next year. This means he would be working on his first year college classes while finishing high school. Crossing our fingers and praying he will take this opportunity and do well. Way to go Ben!! Keep up the good work!!

God Bless Everyone and drop us a line sometime when you can.

New Year!!!

Just sitting here thinking and watching the posts on Facebook. As I think back over this year, I have to say it was a pretty good year. David did manage to get his disability increased some and that has helped our financial situation. I am working part-time to help with what the VA does not cover.

James has truly blossomed at College America. He has 4.0 GPA and is tutoring in his spare time. Ben has been doing very well at Hinkley but does not like the schedule or the size of the student body. In October, we were told about APS Online, an online high school, he decided to enroll and will begin classes in January. He got his computer on Monday and has begun the preliminary tests to see what he knows, he is doing very well. I think he will pass some of these tests and be able to skip some classes. He is looking forward to being able to progress at his own pace instead of staying with the class. He might even graduate earlier than May of 2011. He is also checking into taking classes at Community College of Aurora while attending high school so that he can graduate with an Associates degree.

Beth is living in Trinidad with her fiance, Derek. No wedding date has been set, but that is ok, they can take their time and plan the wedding they want. She is working two jobs and seems to be making it on her own.

Life is starting to get better little bits at a time. GOD has Blessed us in so many ways. We pray for all our family and friends to have a great New Year and the receive some of the Blessings we have and that we continue to receive.

God Bless Everyone!!

Christmas 2009

We had a great Christmas this year. First, we were in our new home, even though we bought it in May, it still feels like new to us. Being the first Christmas in our home, we celebrated by having Christmas morning here instead of going to Mom and Dad's. Although, we should have spent the night there since the heat went out in our house. We just added more blankets and turned on the oven to take the chill off. Christmas morning was great, we opened gifts and laughed so much.

We loaded the car about 11 am and drove over to Mom and Dad's for the big family gathering and Christmas dinner. What another great time, with all my sister's there, even though Jenni had to leave early due to just having had surgery on the 22nd. Tanya has a new man in her life, he brought his three boys and his parents, Candy and Mike are great fun to be with. We sure enjoyed Thanksgiving with them and were glad to reciprocate with dinner at Mom and Dad's.

On Saturday, we got someone to come out and look at our furnace, took a bit of time but he got it working. Then we waited for Beth and Derek to arrive to open gifts with them. It was a late night but we had such a good time. Then on Sunday, we went over to Jenni and Mark's to open gifts there as Larissa had been gone over Christmas and did not arrive home until late Saturday night. After the fun of opening gifts, we played Balderdash and watched the Bronco game. What a wonderful day it was with all the family packed into their small home, so much love and laughter.

Can't believe Christmas has come and gone, the New Year will be upon us very quickly as well. Time is just flying, I can't believe it will be 2010 in just a couple of days.

May God Bless you all in the coming year and always!!!