May Thoughts in June

I know it is now June 8 and I am a bit late posting my thoughts for May, but it was a rough month. First the good thoughts, our 23rd Wedding Anniversary was May 14th so that was cause for celebration. Not many people can say they are still married after 23 years, but we are, although there have been many rough years. May also brought the passing of the first year of Brooklyn Jade's first year of life...Yea!! She has brought so much joy to this family.

May also brought us closer to my sister Tanya's due date for her latest addition to her family. She is expecting her newest little girl in July, Nicole should arrive around the 19th.

We also celebrated the announcement of two engagements, James & Brittany and Elizabeth & Derek. Both couples will be getting married next spring! We are so excited for both couples and yet we are also anticipating the bills! Along with the joy of this, came heartache, there was conflict with the dates for the weddings. When it all settled, Elizabeth was no longer speaking to any of us, effective May 14, our anniversary! As of this posting, she as not contacted us by phone, Facebook, email, text or regular mail. To say this is hurting me is an understatement, but to say it is also helping ease my stress is a helpful statement.

I find not arguing with her eases the stress I was having and helps with the migraines but does not ease the hurt on my heart. I find the hurt similar to grief felt from the loss of a death, you have to take it moment to moment. I pray she will come around and realize how much I love her and how much her family loves her. I pray she will realize how much she loves her family and how much she needs us. For now that is all I can do, other than express my love for her on here. I love you Elizabeth!!! Please remember that always!!

God Bless Everyone!

April 2011 Thoughts

April is almost gone and I see it is time to post my thoughts for the month. Yesterday we celebrated James' 22nd birthday, where have the years gone? It only seems like yesterday that he was toddling around here taking things apart and sucking his thumb. I miss those days and yet I love that he is grown and on his own, graduating in a few weeks with his Associates Degree in Medical Assisting, I also love that he and Brittany are planning their wedding for next year, she is going to be a great addition to our family.

April also brought about the graduation from high school for Ben. He completed his GED requirements, passed the tests and got his diploma. He did all this in less than a week and with better than average scores. He even got a certificate from College America for passing the tests in less than a week. Then he started college classes right away, taking Graphic Design. He kept his promise to me months ahead of schedule. I am so proud of him! When the family got together for Easter, we had a graduation celebration at the same time for him. He loved it, he even got some gifts!

We got news from Elizabeth, she and Derek have set a date for their wedding, May 19, 2012! We are happy for them and are planning to be there to give our daughter away. Ben has been asked to be a part of the wedding party and has agreed. We are happy to be adding another son to our expanding family! Next year is going to be really busy with two weddings!

May God Bless everyone who reads my rantings!

March Thoughts

It has been a few months since I posted anything so I thought I should say something.....SOMETHING...LOL!!!

Life has been good or than an occasional bump. I have gotten to the level where my doctor wants me to be for my medication for now that is to help with my migraines. For now it seems to be helping like it should, when I take it every day like I should. I have found if I miss a day, I will have a severe headache the next day, so I am trying to make sure I do not miss a day. I am still taking care of Brooklyn every day and enjoying it, she is such a joy. She makes me so anxious to have grandchildren and yet I can wait for the kids to finish college.

James should be finished with the first part of his degree in June and be ready to test to be a Certified Medical Assistant, then hopefully on to Nursing school. Brittany will have another year to finish her degree in Nursing Business Management.

Ben has had a bit of a set back in his high school, seems Aurora Public schools did not calculate his credits correctly and did not set his schedule up properly to keep him on track to graduate in May. So he must attend another semester and not graduate until December of 2011 or May of 2012 depending on his choice of classes and if he wants to get in some college classes or not. With the fact he is 18, he can make this decision all on his own and may decide to just get his GED and go on to college sooner instead of waiting to finish traditional high school. It does concern me a bit but what can I do when he is 18 and he does have a mind of his own, he has the right to make his own decisions about his life, I have to realize this and accept it.

Our home is fast becoming an empty nest, it is nice at times and at times it is very lonely. I like being able to do what I want, when I want but I also miss being able to spend the time with my kids, but after all, they aren't kids anymore, I have to remember that.

Thankful and Turning 48

Very Thankful this year for my family and friends. Since we moved back to Aurora 2 years ago, things have changed in our lives. Some good, some bad, that's par for the course.

The good is we have a home that has enough room for all of us to be comfortable, even when overcrowded. We have many friends here and that's good cause we weren't sure how we would handle leaving all the friends we left in Trinidad.

The bad is that we still have not found that one church that God wants us to be in, but we know when the time is right, He will guide us there. We have lost everyday contact with our daughter and for the most part we don't hear from her for months on end. She did complain that I did not call often enough to check on her and Derek to satisfy her, but I have such a sad heart regarding the problems and the comments from her about how bad a mother I am, that I just can't bring myself to call more. I pray one day she will know how it feels and understand and come back into our lives.

Another good thing is this move has brought me back to being closer to my parents and my sisters and their families. We had a wonderful time this year at my sister Tanya's in-laws home, just like last year. Mike and Kandi are wonderful hosts and make for a great time of fellowship. There was so much food that we had some to bring home. For Christmas, we will be at my sister, Jennifer's new home. Can't wait to see all her decorations up for the first time in many years.

Money is still very tight and it will be a small Christmas but we are Blessed to include our future daughter-in-law in this year's activities. Brittany has become such a joy in our lives and has had a wonderful influence on James. They are talking about their wedding but it is still about 2 years away. I can't wait to take their engagement photos in the new year.

Today was bittersweet, I turned 48. Good in that my hubby prepared dinner and baked a cake for me. But sad in that I am only 2 years from 50! But then I think, it will be nice because by the time I do turn 50, my oldest should be married and possibly have a baby on the way to make me a Grandmother.

This has also been a wonderful time for me to get to know my nieces and nephews better. I am especially getting closer to my first great niece, Brooklyn. I have been doing daycare for her since her mom went back to work. I do know that God gives us children when we are young for a good reason, cause I am very tired each night, but I would not trade the bond I have with her for anything. It so reminds me of James and Michelle when she did my daycare for him while I worked. I remember being so jealous of her getting to see all the firsts but now I can sympathize with Chelsea as this is happening to her.

Thank you God for all my Blessings and please help me to be more patient and understanding of the things I need to.

Sad Time

For the past several years, my life has been in turmoil. Not just from the loss of David's job, his need for hip replacement, his health issues, or the move from Trinidad to Aurora, but due to many issues with my daughter, Elizabeth.

She blames me for her lack of popularity in school and lack of friends. She says I spoiled the boys but not her. She feels I don't care enough to call at least once a week to see how she is doing. I can't seem to figure out where this all comes from. I always allowed and sacrificed to let her take dance lessons, to do gymnastics, to be a cheerleader, to go to camp, to girl scouts, and be in band. Her Dad and I would do without many things in our lives to give our kids the privilege to participate in sports, cheer leading, band, gymnastics or whatever they wanted to do. We wanted them to be happy and be involved with different activities to keep busy and stay out of trouble, but also to be better citizens. I don't know how many times I put off buying something frivolous or some clothes I might have needed to be able to pay for registration for sports or buy uniforms or dresses for Homecoming or Prom. I know that a few times she had to wear a hand-me-down dress to Homecoming or Prom, but not always.

Everyone keeps telling me that I was not a bad mother, that I did everything I could to make all 3 kids happy. The boys don't resent me, so I can't understand why she does. I have come to believe it maybe the fact she has Bi-polar Disorder and really needs some help, but she can't see it and won't ask for help. The only thing she will ask for is more money or more things.

I have to move past this and get on with my life. I have to let her go and let her live her life until she realizes that people have not been mean to her and that we have been trying to help. Until that time I have to try to forget the ugly things she has said and concentrate on my life and my boys. I will survive and I will be praying for her everyday. I do love you, Elizabeth!

New Year!!!

Just sitting here thinking and watching the posts on Facebook. As I think back over this year, I have to say it was a pretty good year. David did manage to get his disability increased some and that has helped our financial situation. I am working part-time to help with what the VA does not cover.

James has truly blossomed at College America. He has 4.0 GPA and is tutoring in his spare time. Ben has been doing very well at Hinkley but does not like the schedule or the size of the student body. In October, we were told about APS Online, an online high school, he decided to enroll and will begin classes in January. He got his computer on Monday and has begun the preliminary tests to see what he knows, he is doing very well. I think he will pass some of these tests and be able to skip some classes. He is looking forward to being able to progress at his own pace instead of staying with the class. He might even graduate earlier than May of 2011. He is also checking into taking classes at Community College of Aurora while attending high school so that he can graduate with an Associates degree.

Beth is living in Trinidad with her fiance, Derek. No wedding date has been set, but that is ok, they can take their time and plan the wedding they want. She is working two jobs and seems to be making it on her own.

Life is starting to get better little bits at a time. GOD has Blessed us in so many ways. We pray for all our family and friends to have a great New Year and the receive some of the Blessings we have and that we continue to receive.

God Bless Everyone!!

Christmas 2009

We had a great Christmas this year. First, we were in our new home, even though we bought it in May, it still feels like new to us. Being the first Christmas in our home, we celebrated by having Christmas morning here instead of going to Mom and Dad's. Although, we should have spent the night there since the heat went out in our house. We just added more blankets and turned on the oven to take the chill off. Christmas morning was great, we opened gifts and laughed so much.

We loaded the car about 11 am and drove over to Mom and Dad's for the big family gathering and Christmas dinner. What another great time, with all my sister's there, even though Jenni had to leave early due to just having had surgery on the 22nd. Tanya has a new man in her life, he brought his three boys and his parents, Candy and Mike are great fun to be with. We sure enjoyed Thanksgiving with them and were glad to reciprocate with dinner at Mom and Dad's.

On Saturday, we got someone to come out and look at our furnace, took a bit of time but he got it working. Then we waited for Beth and Derek to arrive to open gifts with them. It was a late night but we had such a good time. Then on Sunday, we went over to Jenni and Mark's to open gifts there as Larissa had been gone over Christmas and did not arrive home until late Saturday night. After the fun of opening gifts, we played Balderdash and watched the Bronco game. What a wonderful day it was with all the family packed into their small home, so much love and laughter.

Can't believe Christmas has come and gone, the New Year will be upon us very quickly as well. Time is just flying, I can't believe it will be 2010 in just a couple of days.

May God Bless you all in the coming year and always!!!

Getting Older

I just celebrated (mourned) the passing of another year in my life. This year was particularly hard for me. Usually I don't mind getting a year older, usually I am truly celebrating it. This year, I just wanted to sit down and cry, something I have done many times the last few months. With no medical insurance, I am not able to go to the doctor to confirm my suspicions, I believe I am going through menopause.

I have many of the symptoms that others have mentioned they experience. Night sweats, sleepless nights, hot flashes, severe mood swings, and extremely irritable, just for starters. On the recommendation of my Mom through her questions to her doctor, I have started taking Black Cohosh Extract. I know it will take time to work but I am struggling with to have the patience to wait. I hate the hot flashes and night sweats, but I love the thought of never having a period again. I only wish I could blink my eyes and it would all be over with tomorrow. I don't know if I can hold out for the years it may take and worst of all, I don't think my family can hang on that long. I know there are days I am a complete Bitch (for lack of a better word) but I can't control this. There are days I want to jump out of my skin and days I want to sit and cry all day long.

If anyone reading this has a better suggestion for helping with the symptoms, please email me at zehrfamily@msn.com. I welcome all suggestions, just put in the subject line something about this blog. I wish all of you the very best and if we come in contact and I am a Bitch, please remember what you have read.

God Bless Everyone!!

Thanks Veterans

A friend posted this on Facebook recently and reminded me how much I do Love Jesus!

Why do we sleep in church, but stαy αwαke through α 3 hour movie? Why is it so hαrd to tαlk to God, but so eαsy to gossip? Why is it so eαsy to ignore α Godly text messαge, but re-send the nαsty ones? Are you going to post this on your stαtus or ignore it? Jesus sαid "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my fαther."

Today, and everyday, we need to THANK the men and women who have sacrificed so much to give us our FREEDOM. REMEMBER those who gave the ULTIMATE sacrifice.

Thanks Dad, Thanks David, Thanks all Veterans past and present!!!

September 5, 2009

Today, I watched one of my dearest and oldest friends get married. It was a very joyous occasion and I was so thrilled and honored to be included in the audience. Paula and I have been through so much together and it caused me to think. I am so grateful for my husband, my children even with all the hardships we have been thru, my sisters, my parents, my extended family, and my friends. I have always been so thankful for my family but I began to wonder if I ever thought about my friends. I don't know that I have ever told my friends how much they mean to me and how they have touched my life. That is going to change, from this day forward, not only am I going to let my family know more often what they mean to me, but I am going to make sure my friends know!! God, Family, Friends this is how life should be measured! Now I need to live up to that and make sure that all those that are important in my life know exactly how important they are! Thank you God for all those wonderful people in my family and who are my friends! God Bless each of you who read this and know you are IMPORTANT TO ME!!

Rollercoaster

Life is so much of a rollercoaster! So many ups and downs and many take your breath away. Now don't get me wrong I like rollercoasters but only when I want to ride not everyday of my life. I really wish things could be on a more even keel everyday with only special times for the highs and lows.

Things have been pretty good with Beth up until last night. It was not a fight between her and I but another problem that she has to deal with. However, she needed Mom and Dad to talk to and to cry on our shoulders. This took until almost 3 am to get her calm enough to sleep, it was nice even with the lack of sleep.

Ben is doing well in his recuperation, he is off the crutches but must be careful not to turn to quickly or get too rowdie. He loves that now he can go swimming, so maybe the last half of summer will better for him. Ben and Katie are doing good, she is a joy to have at the house to occupy him, but she is also a sweet girl to be around.

James is continuing to work lots of hours at Elitch's and enjoying it. They have concerts there and when they do and he is working he gets to listen. He and his girlfriend, Kara, are doing well. She is very sweet and we enjoy having her come over to spend time with James and the rest of us.

David and I have been working on the house very slowly so that neither one of us gets overly tired. We are going thru things and deciding whether to keep things or set them aside for a yard sale or throw them away. He continues to look for a job. I have been applying for different jobs but for now at least I have some income coming in from the liquor store. We are enjoying seeing old friends every so often and just getting out of the house.

Life is getting better slowly but surely, just watch out for the dips and peaks!!! LOL!! God Bless Everyone.

Goodbye THS and Trinidad

Graduation is done! May 17, 2009 we watched our daughter walk across the floor to receive her diploma from Trinidad High. It was a bittersweet moment for both of us. We were thrilled to see her complete her high school education but it means the end of her youth. There are several other factors that go along with this milestone. Most of you know about the problems we have been having with Elizabeth in the past year, many of which have been compounded with our move back to Aurora 6 months ago and her 18th birthday in January. She continues to tell us, not in specific words, but with innuendos, that we are not wanted in her life, yet when something big happens she comes running to us first. This is such a hard thing to deal with, I want to take her in my arms when things happen and just hold her but she pushes me away. So I have come to the conclusion that I must stay away, take the news at a distance and wish her all the best. I was able to hug her and tell her congratulations on her graduation and I told her I love her but the reception from her was very cold. Take it and move on..I told myself. The news of her engagement was a shock to a point but was also expected at sometime within this year of graduation. So I took it with shock the night before graduation when they came to our hotel to tell us, wishing them nothing but happiness which is what every parent wants for their child. The next day I was over my shock enough to go to her party and wish them both the best and to welcome Derek into the family. Going to take some time to get used to saying son-in-law and at least for now I can say she is not pregnant. She does have a job lined up and will begin working soon, I even know and respect her boss, so I am proud of her for doing this as much as I am proud of her for graduating.

We will be saying our final goodbyes to Trinidad this next weekend when we take a moving truck down to retrieve our household goods which have been storage there since the move to Aurora. We have been approved for and will close on a 16x80 ft single wide mobile home in eastern Aurora this week. Though David still does not have a job and I only have my part-time job, we did get a partial increase from the VA which is enough to live on. The mobile home is pre-owned and in good shape, not our dream home but is much better than continuing to live in my parents 5th wheel. We are going to live in this place for at least a year to see if our credit scores improve to purchase something more like what we want. For now, it is 3 bedrooms - one for each of the boys, 2 baths and more square footage than we have had in quite a while. The best part is the laundry room that is so large we can put our freezer in there along with the washer and dryer and still have room to move comfortably. I will take some photos this week when we do our walk through and post them soon.

Thank you everyone who reads this blog and keeps us in your prayers. We will continue to pray for all of you. God Bless everyone!!

Mother's Day 2009

I had really been dreading this day, due to all the problems with Beth. But I have to say, it has been one of the very best Mother's Days I have ever had. First, the tradition on breakfast with my Mom kicked off the day at 9 am. We take our Mom and our kids come along to treat us. So, breakfast for 12 was great. All of us got flowers from our mom and I had one from my boys. There was also a gift from Mom and one from the boys. The made me laugh and cry at the same time with the cards they chose. Then after breakfast we took pictures which I will post later when I get some time. Then the boys treated for me to have a pedicure for the very first time. Turns out that my sister's children were treating them and the grandkids split up the charges for their grandmother to get not only a pedicure but a manicure as well. Then my boys wanted to take their grandmother and I to a movie. We took a raincheck on that as there is nothing that she and I wanted to see at this time. Then we got home to dinner cooking for us. So all in all a great day. I missed you Beth and I hope you had a good day with Marlene.

Happy Mother's Day all and God Bless!

Realizations

As I read the newest blog posting from an online friend, The Hawn Family Weekly, I came to the realization that the problems I have been experiencing with my daughter pale in comparison to the trials this young family is facing. They have two children, both born prematurely and both with problems that many premies face. They have endured by Faith to get their first born, Charlotte to the age of 2. She still has many problems with blood pressure, walking, and her heart but she seems to be catching up to other 2 year olds quickly. I have watched her go from a very sick little one to a cute little bundle of joy for her parents.

Just three months ago, this family faced the birth of another little one, this time a boy. Ryan was born prematurely but quickly moved out of the NICU to come home earlier than his sister did. He seemed to be doing so well until I read the new posting today. It seems Ryan has the same genetic abnormality that his sister does only it is much more severe for him. This little guy may not make it but his family has not given up and they are not turning their back on God!

If you read their posts you will see the strength of their Faith in each word. I know that no matter what happens, they will survive and they will be thanking God for every day they have with their children. That is what I should be doing instead of being depressed over Elizabeth's desire to live her own life without us, I should be celebrating and remembering all the time I have had with her. Then, if or when, she changes her mind to come back to our family, I will be that much more happy. Maybe by taking this direction, I will enjoy my boys more and I pray it will make me a better person towards everyone. I know I have been grumpy and depressed, but I am going to try this new approach and look ahead to the times with my boys and husband. I will be praying for Elizabeth when I pray for strength and patience.

Pray for me, David, James, Ben and Beth please, to be a family once again whenever God's plan allows. God Bless you all!

Time to let GO!

I have come to the conclusion that I must stop trying to help Elizabeth in any shape or form. She has asked many times for my advice but when I give it to her she just says I don't know what I am talking about or just plain ignores me. When she asks for help, I give it to her the best way I know how, but that does not suit her as it is not how she thinks I should have replied. If things are not done the way she thinks they should be done then she thinks I don't care. If I can't do things on her time table or schedule, then I am not making her a priority.

I have decided to sit back and do nothing but wait, to let her do things her way. I will always be here to listen and help but only when she really wants my help and in the manner in which I can help. For the time being, I pray God will give me the patience and the strength to endure. I also pray she will realize I am not the mean, selfish, uncaring person she thinks I am and come to understand I am doing things in the best way possible for the situation I am in.

I love you Beth and always will.

God Bless Everyone.

Feeling Down

I am having one of those days where nothing seems to be going as it should. All I want to do today is cry. Cry for the loss of contact with my daughter, cry for the loss of my own home, cry just to cry. I know that crying does no one any good, for me it only aggravates the headache I have had for days now and only makes it so hard to breathe due to the congestion it causes. But I just can't seem to convince myself to stop. I can't seem to find any happiness.

I feel so alone in my loss of my relationship with Beth. I often question what could I have done differently. I look at my sisters with their daughters, I see problems but I don't see the same harshness that seems to plague Beth and me. At times I am okay with not talking to her because it means there is a calmness in the house, but that only lasts for a short time because then the sadness takes over. I realize that I have made mistakes with her and that I could have done things differently but I am human, we all have to learn from our mistakes. I certainly have. I wish I could go back and do things differently but I don't know that even that would help. I can only hope and pray that Beth will realize that parents are falible and that we are learning at the same time that our children are. I pray she will see that more than anything I Love Her and only want the best for her and most of all...I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR HER.

As for being sad about not having my own home...where do I begin. First I need to say I love my family! But after living away from them for more than 20 years, this has been the most trying time of my life. I love being here to help Mom and Dad but at times I feel so in the way. I don't know if anyone will understand without feeling hurt, but I feel like I am losing me. I pray things will change fast before I totally fall apart and like Humpty Dumpty, I can't be put back together again.

Right Hip done...

Ben had the surgery to correct the problem with his right hip on March 3 as scheduled. He was released from the hospital on March 4. It is now post op day 2 (March 5) and he seems to be doing well. He is having some pain, it didn't help that the pharmacy neglected to give me his pain meds when I picked up his prescription yesterday. They only gave me the refills for his inhalers and stomach meds, no pain meds for the first night home. Luckily, I have tylenol with codiene for my migraines. I called the doctor on call and asked if it would be okay to give him one since the meds he should have had were still at the pharmacy. Luckily, the doctor on call was the surgeon who assisted Ben's primary doctor and had written the prescriptions so I didn't have to give an entire history just for a few pills.

Today, Ben feels he may have overdone it with physical therapy yesterday and is taking it a bit easier today. He is sleeping and using the CPM (Constant Passive Motion) machine to keep his joints and muscles from stiffing up. The machine gently moves the leg from straight to 90 degrees bent for as long as Ben feels comfortable with it. He says he loves this machine because it keeps his knee from hurting being in one position so much. He still is not able to sit in a regular chair for longer than a few minutes. He must recline so that his body is not at the 90 degree angle most of us are supposed to sit at.

When he begins classes here at home next week, he will be sitting in a reclining wheelchair for the two hour session each day. He will also use the wheelchair when he returns to school in a few weeks since he will still be on crutches and limited on how much weight he can place on the leg. We have discussed this in great length, we all feel it is much safer for him to return to school in the chair since the floors are tile, there are over 1500 students in the halls for passing periods and too many chances for him to get knocked down.

The last few days have been such a blur, I had to check my computer today to know what day of the week it was. We were in Trinidad over the weekend to say our goodbyes to a very dear young man. Christian was only 9 years old when he passed away in February but this child knew that the Lord was with him. The family had such a loving and uplifting service for him, I don't think I have ever been to a more powerful service. I will never forget Christian and the love and smiles he brought to this world.

Will keep all of you posted when the next surgery for Ben is scheduled. Until there is more to report on anything going on in our lives...May God Bless each and everyone!!

Depressed

Just want to post this so everyone will know and there will not be a lot of questions, but lots of prayer. Elizabeth decided today to stop all contact, in whatever form, with her family. She refuses to speak with any of us, email us, or text us. This includes not only her dad and I, but her brothers, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Please be praying for us to come thru this and to be a stronger family. I feel like I have lost a part of myself, but I know that tears won't help, although I have cried a river today. Thank you in advance for your support and for your understanding if I don't want to discuss it.

God Bless Everyone!!

The New Year!

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009! I pray you will be nicer to me and my family than '08 was.

With all the turmoil in our lives since June 30, 2007, things have got to get better this year. We are now in a new (old) city. We are looking for new jobs. We are sleeping in a camper and sharing the use of the house with 5 other people for a total of 9 people in this house most of the time. Things are slowly turning around for us and I must be patient.

Please keep us in your prayers, David and Mom especially. Mom for her health and David that he will come out of the depression and other problems he has been dealing with. We pray for all our family and friends everyday and wish all God's Blessings everyday!

Changes

Things are changing so fast in our lives and some of it is not good. Things like not having our entire family together for Christmas. Elizabeth has chosen to stay in Trinidad not only to graduate with her class but she will be having Christmas with Derek and his family. This will be the first Christmas we won't be seeing her face on Christmas morning. I knew this day would come eventually, I know someday the kids have to leave the nest. I just didn't think it would come before she turned 18.

I know what it is like to share this time of the year with the extended family. I had to split my time with David's family and mine before. I know that eventually all three of my kids will be married and will be spending holidays with their extended family. I want that for each of them. It is just too darn early for me to be in full acceptance mode of this change. I am not ready for empty nest syndrome...LOL!

The one good thing about this holiday season will be that for the first time in several years, we won't be traveling to spend it with my family here in Aurora. It means not having to worry about the weather, the crazies on the road and whether or not we can make it back in time to work.

It is also very hard to be jolly at this time with no money to be able to give the gifts we would love to give. I know that this is a time to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, I am doing that will all my might. But, I would also love to be able to participate in the giving not only to my family but to others who might be less fortunate than we are. Yes, there are others who are worse off than we are and I pray someone is going to help them get thru this time, like my family is helping us.

Change is good and it is bad but most of all it is necessary.

God Bless Everyone!