Thankful and Turning 48

Very Thankful this year for my family and friends. Since we moved back to Aurora 2 years ago, things have changed in our lives. Some good, some bad, that's par for the course.

The good is we have a home that has enough room for all of us to be comfortable, even when overcrowded. We have many friends here and that's good cause we weren't sure how we would handle leaving all the friends we left in Trinidad.

The bad is that we still have not found that one church that God wants us to be in, but we know when the time is right, He will guide us there. We have lost everyday contact with our daughter and for the most part we don't hear from her for months on end. She did complain that I did not call often enough to check on her and Derek to satisfy her, but I have such a sad heart regarding the problems and the comments from her about how bad a mother I am, that I just can't bring myself to call more. I pray one day she will know how it feels and understand and come back into our lives.

Another good thing is this move has brought me back to being closer to my parents and my sisters and their families. We had a wonderful time this year at my sister Tanya's in-laws home, just like last year. Mike and Kandi are wonderful hosts and make for a great time of fellowship. There was so much food that we had some to bring home. For Christmas, we will be at my sister, Jennifer's new home. Can't wait to see all her decorations up for the first time in many years.

Money is still very tight and it will be a small Christmas but we are Blessed to include our future daughter-in-law in this year's activities. Brittany has become such a joy in our lives and has had a wonderful influence on James. They are talking about their wedding but it is still about 2 years away. I can't wait to take their engagement photos in the new year.

Today was bittersweet, I turned 48. Good in that my hubby prepared dinner and baked a cake for me. But sad in that I am only 2 years from 50! But then I think, it will be nice because by the time I do turn 50, my oldest should be married and possibly have a baby on the way to make me a Grandmother.

This has also been a wonderful time for me to get to know my nieces and nephews better. I am especially getting closer to my first great niece, Brooklyn. I have been doing daycare for her since her mom went back to work. I do know that God gives us children when we are young for a good reason, cause I am very tired each night, but I would not trade the bond I have with her for anything. It so reminds me of James and Michelle when she did my daycare for him while I worked. I remember being so jealous of her getting to see all the firsts but now I can sympathize with Chelsea as this is happening to her.

Thank you God for all my Blessings and please help me to be more patient and understanding of the things I need to.

Sad Time

For the past several years, my life has been in turmoil. Not just from the loss of David's job, his need for hip replacement, his health issues, or the move from Trinidad to Aurora, but due to many issues with my daughter, Elizabeth.

She blames me for her lack of popularity in school and lack of friends. She says I spoiled the boys but not her. She feels I don't care enough to call at least once a week to see how she is doing. I can't seem to figure out where this all comes from. I always allowed and sacrificed to let her take dance lessons, to do gymnastics, to be a cheerleader, to go to camp, to girl scouts, and be in band. Her Dad and I would do without many things in our lives to give our kids the privilege to participate in sports, cheer leading, band, gymnastics or whatever they wanted to do. We wanted them to be happy and be involved with different activities to keep busy and stay out of trouble, but also to be better citizens. I don't know how many times I put off buying something frivolous or some clothes I might have needed to be able to pay for registration for sports or buy uniforms or dresses for Homecoming or Prom. I know that a few times she had to wear a hand-me-down dress to Homecoming or Prom, but not always.

Everyone keeps telling me that I was not a bad mother, that I did everything I could to make all 3 kids happy. The boys don't resent me, so I can't understand why she does. I have come to believe it maybe the fact she has Bi-polar Disorder and really needs some help, but she can't see it and won't ask for help. The only thing she will ask for is more money or more things.

I have to move past this and get on with my life. I have to let her go and let her live her life until she realizes that people have not been mean to her and that we have been trying to help. Until that time I have to try to forget the ugly things she has said and concentrate on my life and my boys. I will survive and I will be praying for her everyday. I do love you, Elizabeth!

Time to Update...

I know I have been very lax in posting but sometimes I just don't have anything to share.

Since my last post, Ben has turned 18 and will be graduating May 2011. James is now living with his girlfriend most of the time. She rented a place close to us and we love it. Brittany and James are so happy and are doing great in school. Beth and Derek came up for Labor Day and went with us to Garden of the Gods. We all had a great time hiking and talking. They are now considering moving to Colorado Springs or Aurora...that would be wonderful!

Our niece, Chelsea had her baby in May, Brooklyn Jade is beautiful!! (See picture above) Chelsea is trying finish cosmetology school and get on her feet. I am now doing daycare for Brooklyn to help out, it is fun. I enjoyed taking her 3 month old photos the other day.

Mom and Dad are doing good, playing golf and working around the house. Mom had cataract surgery a couple of months ago and is seeing so much better. She now only needs to wear glassed to read.

God Bless Everyone! Keep in touch!!

James is 21

Where have the year's gone? My oldest baby is now 21! I remember that day and night so well, seems just yesterday. Start with 53 hours of labor, not being allowed to have any pain meds except in my IV, and 2 1/2 hours of pushing and into the world comes James Ronald Zehr at 1:05 am on April 26, 1989 at 8 lbs. 13 ozs. and 21 1/2 inches long. (When I can find them, I will post some pictures of the early years)

Thus began years of worry and love and lots of activities. From the start he was destined to be a sports fan and player. Mom and Dad came up to see us that afternoon with gifts in hand. Dad made sure they were sports themed. They brought him a referee outfit complete with an embroidered whistle, a golf sleeper that had a collar, a vest, and little flaps on the feet to resemble golf shoes, his first golf club and ball, and his first baseball mitt and ball. I had to laugh but I knew then there would be no way the first grandson was not going to be into sports. Little did we know then just how much.

Over the years he not only played baseball and golf, but he loved soccer, played and managed football, some basketball and even got in some time for a little gymnastics. He was a catcher for baseball and had quite a knack for knowing where the ball was at all times and for keeping it in front of him if it didn't stay in his glove. At age five, he found soccer in the AYSO (American Youth Soccer Oganization) in Trinidad and from there he grew into playing competitive 3v3 soccer for two years and high school soccer. He managed the football team his sophomore year at Trinidad High. The coaches watched him punt and kick at practice with the guys and asked him to play the next year, but it was not meant to be. When he made the decision to move to Aurora to finish high school JROTC at Hinkley, he did play soccer and tried to play football as the punter/kicker. Unfortunately it was not meant to be for football but he did play two years of soccer and did so well he lettered and was asked to try out for soccer teams at a couple of colleges.

To this day he stays involved in sports by playing softball when he can, refereeing soccer for a bit and especially watching everything he can on TV. But nowadays, his focus is on college and getting his Nursing degree. He is on the right path and will graduate from College America in June of 2011 with a degree in Medical Assisting then it is on to Nursing school.

Besides sports, James was a Cub Scout and Boy Scout reaching the rank of 1st Class before he moved to Aurora. He would have continued Boy Scouts here but did not find the troops in Aurora to be anything like the one in Trinidad, not as challenging.

I can't believe 21 years have gone by so fast. I wish I could have some of those back to enjoy them all over again. But there are more years ahead that should be just as good. I am looking forward to, but not rushing, his graduation, getting his 1st Nursing job, marriage and children. He has grown into a handsome, compassionate, loving young man.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!! I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR MOM!!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace”- Ephesians 1:7

HE IS RISEN! "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.'" John 11:25-26

James and Ben

James found out last night that he made the President's List at College America. What a joy for me to have a son doing so well at college. He has a 4.0 GPA and perfect attendance. I am praying this will continue until graduation in May 2011. He is loving his classes and making some really good friends. Hopefully this summer, he will be certified to work in a Nursing or Assisted Living Home or will be certified to work as a Phlebotomist and working in a blood bank or something close. Way to go James!! Keep up the good work!!

Ben is doing much better since switching to online classes. He is currently working on English and History, with a B or better in each class. He is ahead of schedule for the current classes and should be moving on to the next two very soon. He has also been invited to apply at Johnson & Wales University for early enrollment for next year. This means he would be working on his first year college classes while finishing high school. Crossing our fingers and praying he will take this opportunity and do well. Way to go Ben!! Keep up the good work!!

God Bless Everyone and drop us a line sometime when you can.

New Year!!!

Just sitting here thinking and watching the posts on Facebook. As I think back over this year, I have to say it was a pretty good year. David did manage to get his disability increased some and that has helped our financial situation. I am working part-time to help with what the VA does not cover.

James has truly blossomed at College America. He has 4.0 GPA and is tutoring in his spare time. Ben has been doing very well at Hinkley but does not like the schedule or the size of the student body. In October, we were told about APS Online, an online high school, he decided to enroll and will begin classes in January. He got his computer on Monday and has begun the preliminary tests to see what he knows, he is doing very well. I think he will pass some of these tests and be able to skip some classes. He is looking forward to being able to progress at his own pace instead of staying with the class. He might even graduate earlier than May of 2011. He is also checking into taking classes at Community College of Aurora while attending high school so that he can graduate with an Associates degree.

Beth is living in Trinidad with her fiance, Derek. No wedding date has been set, but that is ok, they can take their time and plan the wedding they want. She is working two jobs and seems to be making it on her own.

Life is starting to get better little bits at a time. GOD has Blessed us in so many ways. We pray for all our family and friends to have a great New Year and the receive some of the Blessings we have and that we continue to receive.

God Bless Everyone!!