Last night Beth came home and we talked for over an hour. The three of us came to some conclusions and concessions. She will be staying at home, at least for now. How long that will be no one, but God, can say. Hopefully the concessions will be honored by all.
Ben came home but we have not had a chance to talk with him. He had band practice last night and then homework to get done. I get the feeling his head is a little bit clearer and that he maybe ready to talk tonight. I hope we can come to some good conclusions and concessions tonight.
At least my kids are home!! I pray every day they will stay until they are ready to stand on their own two feet.
God Bless you all!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tough Love
After many years of horrific outbursts and arguments, but most especially all the problems we have experienced this past year, David and I finally got tough on Elizabeth. We politely informed her if it was her true desire to move out and try her hand at living her life the way she wants with no rules to follow from us, then go right ahead. We also told her there would be no more monetary support and if the time comes and she needs to move back home, she will have to follow our rules without question. She took a little bit to think on it, then said I am leaving for a few days to think on this some more.
Ben questioned why we would do this to her when he felt his outbursts and arguments were, in his opinion, worse than what she dished out. So in good faith, I told him if he thought things were better somewhere else he could move out with the same conditions his sister has. He walked out after 10 pm saying he was going to his friend's house for the night as he needed some time to think without the pressure of talking to anyone in the family.
All I can do is cry! My kids are gone, wether for good or not, it still hurts! I know it is for the best that Beth take the time to spread her wings afterall she will be 18 in January. Still, she is only 17 right now and she has not graduated from high school. I hope she will live up to the promise I asked her to make before she left, I want her to graduate no matter where she is living. She says she will. I know what we did is for the best for the entire family, with regards to her, but it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
I was hurt she left and did shed some tears, but when Ben asked if he could leave to think things through, I sobbed. My baby, my youngest, my 16 year old, walking out the door with his bag and backpack just broke my heart. I want them back!, but I know they need the time to make some decisions for themselves, although, Ben should have stayed here and just asked for time alone.
Tough Love sucks! I know it is something that many people have been suggesting and many of them have had to do what we did, but it really sucks!!
If you two are reading this, please remember, I love you!!
Ben questioned why we would do this to her when he felt his outbursts and arguments were, in his opinion, worse than what she dished out. So in good faith, I told him if he thought things were better somewhere else he could move out with the same conditions his sister has. He walked out after 10 pm saying he was going to his friend's house for the night as he needed some time to think without the pressure of talking to anyone in the family.
All I can do is cry! My kids are gone, wether for good or not, it still hurts! I know it is for the best that Beth take the time to spread her wings afterall she will be 18 in January. Still, she is only 17 right now and she has not graduated from high school. I hope she will live up to the promise I asked her to make before she left, I want her to graduate no matter where she is living. She says she will. I know what we did is for the best for the entire family, with regards to her, but it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
I was hurt she left and did shed some tears, but when Ben asked if he could leave to think things through, I sobbed. My baby, my youngest, my 16 year old, walking out the door with his bag and backpack just broke my heart. I want them back!, but I know they need the time to make some decisions for themselves, although, Ben should have stayed here and just asked for time alone.
Tough Love sucks! I know it is something that many people have been suggesting and many of them have had to do what we did, but it really sucks!!
If you two are reading this, please remember, I love you!!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
September 23, 2008
Just got back from applying for food stamps and medicaid, what a degrading process. We applied last year but didn't qualify due to David's retirement plan from the State. We had to take the payout for that after four months of trying to keep our heads above water. Needless to say, after over a year of no job for David, that money is gone after paying the majority of the biggest bills and just trying to live each month.
Today's visit with Human Services was not the most friendly I have ever had. It is very hard for me to admit we need the help they can provide. Once I filled out the application I was taken to a very small office to visit with an intake clerk. She never introduced herself so I don't even know her name. Although, she did say "I think we have met before, maybe at school?" This seemed to be a good start to the interview. When she asked if we had applied before and proceeded to locate our file in the computer, the good feeling turned south.
She left the room to pull my file, came back and told me that the reason we had been denied before was that I never showed for my appointment. I tried to explain this was incorrect, as I had been sent a letter of denial for the services and that I had cancelled my appointment with the clerk. She said "I don't care! The record shows this and that's what I am going with." Seemed to me that Social Services or Human Services, can do whatever or document whatever they want and to hell with treating someone humanly.
From this point on I felt as tall as an ant. I got the feeling that she didn't really want to help me but was going thru the motions so as not to lose her job. I left the office with my second set of forms, list of documentation I will need to fulfill the requirements, my card with nothing on it, and the feeling that I was not worth the effort to even consider my application. I know that is not the case but it is hard to to think that when someone who is supposed to help just goes thru the motions and doesn't even offer some kind words.
I will not give up on trying for help. I am also looking into another job to supplement our income until David can complete his college classes and get employed. I will do whatever it takes to keep my family clothed, fed and housed.
We did receive a huge blessing this week that has lifted my spirits everytime I think about it. Our Church family provided us with groceries to get us thru the month and a promise that no matter what our family will not go hungry. They also paid our past due utility bill so that we will not have that worry for now and can possibly stay caught up on them on the meager income we get from the VA.
God is so good and has sent Angels to us by way of our wonderful Church Family!! Thank you God!!
Until next time, may God Bless You in everything you do!!
Today's visit with Human Services was not the most friendly I have ever had. It is very hard for me to admit we need the help they can provide. Once I filled out the application I was taken to a very small office to visit with an intake clerk. She never introduced herself so I don't even know her name. Although, she did say "I think we have met before, maybe at school?" This seemed to be a good start to the interview. When she asked if we had applied before and proceeded to locate our file in the computer, the good feeling turned south.
She left the room to pull my file, came back and told me that the reason we had been denied before was that I never showed for my appointment. I tried to explain this was incorrect, as I had been sent a letter of denial for the services and that I had cancelled my appointment with the clerk. She said "I don't care! The record shows this and that's what I am going with." Seemed to me that Social Services or Human Services, can do whatever or document whatever they want and to hell with treating someone humanly.
From this point on I felt as tall as an ant. I got the feeling that she didn't really want to help me but was going thru the motions so as not to lose her job. I left the office with my second set of forms, list of documentation I will need to fulfill the requirements, my card with nothing on it, and the feeling that I was not worth the effort to even consider my application. I know that is not the case but it is hard to to think that when someone who is supposed to help just goes thru the motions and doesn't even offer some kind words.
I will not give up on trying for help. I am also looking into another job to supplement our income until David can complete his college classes and get employed. I will do whatever it takes to keep my family clothed, fed and housed.
We did receive a huge blessing this week that has lifted my spirits everytime I think about it. Our Church family provided us with groceries to get us thru the month and a promise that no matter what our family will not go hungry. They also paid our past due utility bill so that we will not have that worry for now and can possibly stay caught up on them on the meager income we get from the VA.
God is so good and has sent Angels to us by way of our wonderful Church Family!! Thank you God!!
Until next time, may God Bless You in everything you do!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
September 17, 2008
Well here we are in the last part of the year. Boy has this gone fast!! We just celebrated Ben's 16 birthday on the 9th and my Dad's 66th on the 13th. Can't believe my baby is 16 now and very grateful my Dad is still with us, Mom is too!! I am so grateful I can say I still have both my parents living to share all life's ups and downs with.
The last couple of weeks have been a tough time here at our household. First, Ben came down with bronchitis which then made its way in one form or another to Beth then to me. We are doing great now, but the creeping crud is making its way around the high school so it will probably be back.
David and I spent several days in Aurora with Mom and Dad last week. He had an appointment with his primary care doctor at the VA. Then we went to meet with his service rep at the main office to check on the status of his disability increase claim. While we were there we were given the bad news that the VA is saying he is not entitiled to any increase. We aren't giving up, we will be appealing this news and will be seeking help from family and friends who may have information about his condition over the years. We believe they are not looking at the records as deeply as they should to make this judgement. Many of their notes as to why they denied the increase, say that the records don't indicate any problems...that is utter crap!! We have copies of all his medical records from the Army and the VA. We will be going over our copies, making copies and highlighting them for the rater. We will prevail!!
After a long visit with the doctor, we discovered we will be back in Aurora for more tests on Sept. 29, 30 and Oct. 1. It seems that David's blood work shows a very low iron level and an extremely high platelet count. Now, what all this means I am not really sure, but it sent up a red flag to his oncologist. Dr. Pahone, Oncologist, now wants him on 10 days of iv therapy to try to bring the iron level up and he wants to do another bone marrow extraction when we come back up. The original appointment on the 29th was to see the doctor about his sleep study results and to probably get him on a cpap machine. Thank the Lord they finally think he needs this machine, maybe I can move back to our bed. I haven't been able to sleep in my bed for quite a while due to his snoring and the severe case of restless leg. The doctors tell me this should help both.
The kids are doing well so far in school. Beth and Ben are deep into rehearsals and practice for Regional and State competitions for band. David and I sat for over 2 hours tonight to watch the field show making its way to being a pretty good display. I personally can't wait to see the whole thing at Regionals and will be hoping they perform as well as last year at both competitions. They brought home first from Regionals and 3rd at State.
Now that I have you updated it is time for bed. God Bless You All!
The last couple of weeks have been a tough time here at our household. First, Ben came down with bronchitis which then made its way in one form or another to Beth then to me. We are doing great now, but the creeping crud is making its way around the high school so it will probably be back.
David and I spent several days in Aurora with Mom and Dad last week. He had an appointment with his primary care doctor at the VA. Then we went to meet with his service rep at the main office to check on the status of his disability increase claim. While we were there we were given the bad news that the VA is saying he is not entitiled to any increase. We aren't giving up, we will be appealing this news and will be seeking help from family and friends who may have information about his condition over the years. We believe they are not looking at the records as deeply as they should to make this judgement. Many of their notes as to why they denied the increase, say that the records don't indicate any problems...that is utter crap!! We have copies of all his medical records from the Army and the VA. We will be going over our copies, making copies and highlighting them for the rater. We will prevail!!
After a long visit with the doctor, we discovered we will be back in Aurora for more tests on Sept. 29, 30 and Oct. 1. It seems that David's blood work shows a very low iron level and an extremely high platelet count. Now, what all this means I am not really sure, but it sent up a red flag to his oncologist. Dr. Pahone, Oncologist, now wants him on 10 days of iv therapy to try to bring the iron level up and he wants to do another bone marrow extraction when we come back up. The original appointment on the 29th was to see the doctor about his sleep study results and to probably get him on a cpap machine. Thank the Lord they finally think he needs this machine, maybe I can move back to our bed. I haven't been able to sleep in my bed for quite a while due to his snoring and the severe case of restless leg. The doctors tell me this should help both.
The kids are doing well so far in school. Beth and Ben are deep into rehearsals and practice for Regional and State competitions for band. David and I sat for over 2 hours tonight to watch the field show making its way to being a pretty good display. I personally can't wait to see the whole thing at Regionals and will be hoping they perform as well as last year at both competitions. They brought home first from Regionals and 3rd at State.
Now that I have you updated it is time for bed. God Bless You All!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Update!
Well the choices have been made as to which photos will be used in the yearbook and the composite photo of the class of 2009 which will grace the walls of the school for years to come. The winners are... 
This one for the yearbook
This one for the composite.
It was hard choosing but with David, myself and Beth doing a lot of looking side by side at all of them, she was able to decide on two fine choices. I am proud of her and think these will look great in the yearbook and on the wall.
Thanks to all who gave us input, we really appreciate it.
God Bless Everyone!!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Elizabeth's Senior Pics
This is my favorite along with...
this one and ....
this one and....
this one and....
this one.
But I love them all if the truth be known.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Another School Year!
September 2, 2008 marked the start of another school year in the Zehr household. This year is Elizabeth's Senior year and should be full of wonderful things. But it has gotten off to a bumpy start. I don't know how many of you will remember, in January, she was attacked at school. She was jumped from behind, thrown to the ground and hit repeatedly about her face by a freshman boy in her band class after a basketball game. She had to face charges of harrassment even though she did not hit back. She had been in a texting war with this boy and this is what prompted him to attack her.
She went through several months of Diversion service to avoid the whole event going on record with the police. She had to do community service and write a letter of apology to this boy. None of which he had to do for attacking her, isn't our justice system lovely!! Well she has moved on and become a better person for it, she says she has learned a valuable lesson.
Anyway back to the bump in the road. She tried out for the flag squad and from past blogs you know she made the squad. She has been enjoying participating except for the continually harrassment from the boy who attacked her who by coincidence is on the same squad. I had asked a friend of ours on the police force to see what he could do to get him to stop and I spoke with Mr. Curro about the situation. Well to make this short, on Tuesday, Beth spoke with Mr. Curro about the problem. He feels that in the best interest of Beth's state of mind and safety for her, that she should no longer be on the flaq squad and move back into the band playing her flute.
I have to agree with him that this should take care of the problem, however, I agree with Beth too. She feels she is being made to compromise in all areas that concern this and this boy can get away with anything he wants. Part of the reason I believe is that he is the only boy on the squad and they don't want a problem with seeming to be sexually biased towards him. You can also read into it that this boy is Gay, he openly admits this, and this may also be part of the reasoning. I have nothing against Gay people, I have several Gay friends, but this kid plays it to the hilt. Prime example, he tried to claim that Beth was harrassing him in such a manner that the incident should be classed a hate crime. One problem with that for him was that she never hit him, she couldn't, he hit her so hard and threw her to the ground that she blacked out.
Hopefully the rest of the year will go better for her. I also hope that Ben will have a wonderful Sophomore year. James and David are both enrolled at Trinidad State Junior College and are working very hard already. They do have some classes that start at the same time but both are pursuing different degrees. James is still going for Nursing and David is pursuing Accounting and Business Management. I love it....I have so much time to myself these days!
Well enough for now, may God Bless You All!!
She went through several months of Diversion service to avoid the whole event going on record with the police. She had to do community service and write a letter of apology to this boy. None of which he had to do for attacking her, isn't our justice system lovely!! Well she has moved on and become a better person for it, she says she has learned a valuable lesson.
Anyway back to the bump in the road. She tried out for the flag squad and from past blogs you know she made the squad. She has been enjoying participating except for the continually harrassment from the boy who attacked her who by coincidence is on the same squad. I had asked a friend of ours on the police force to see what he could do to get him to stop and I spoke with Mr. Curro about the situation. Well to make this short, on Tuesday, Beth spoke with Mr. Curro about the problem. He feels that in the best interest of Beth's state of mind and safety for her, that she should no longer be on the flaq squad and move back into the band playing her flute.
I have to agree with him that this should take care of the problem, however, I agree with Beth too. She feels she is being made to compromise in all areas that concern this and this boy can get away with anything he wants. Part of the reason I believe is that he is the only boy on the squad and they don't want a problem with seeming to be sexually biased towards him. You can also read into it that this boy is Gay, he openly admits this, and this may also be part of the reasoning. I have nothing against Gay people, I have several Gay friends, but this kid plays it to the hilt. Prime example, he tried to claim that Beth was harrassing him in such a manner that the incident should be classed a hate crime. One problem with that for him was that she never hit him, she couldn't, he hit her so hard and threw her to the ground that she blacked out.
Hopefully the rest of the year will go better for her. I also hope that Ben will have a wonderful Sophomore year. James and David are both enrolled at Trinidad State Junior College and are working very hard already. They do have some classes that start at the same time but both are pursuing different degrees. James is still going for Nursing and David is pursuing Accounting and Business Management. I love it....I have so much time to myself these days!
Well enough for now, may God Bless You All!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Labor Day!
It was truly Labor Day for all of us. We have an annual fundraiser for the THS Band which requires us to be at the County Fair to sell concessions. That usually isn't so bad but when you add on parking for the fair and the rodeo, that makes for a lot of work. To top it all off, the kids are supposed to help as well as the parents, but it seems everyone, except the "regulars" had their own plans. So our lack of "staff" made for a very long weekend for all those who were working so deligently to raise money to keep the band on their journey to Regionals and State competitions.
As a general rule, the band must maintain a budget with the Band Boosters somewhere in the range of $10,000 a year for expenses incurred to travel to Regionals and State. These expenses are for the normal travel expenses that the school district does not cover, such as hotel and food. The Band Boosters take great pride in helping to keep the band on the move to becoming the number 1 band in Southern Colorado. Most of wish these efforts involved the cooperation of more than 12 or so parents. But what can you do, if they won't come you can only keep asking and praying for those who really care.
All in all, I think the weekend was a great success other than the loss on Friday night at the football game...LOL! David and I are very sore but very blessed that we had the fellowship with the wonderful individuals who were there to help. We have some great friends! Elizabeth was the only one of our kids who able to help us as Ben came down with either the flu or a very dibilitating cold. He wasn't even up for marching in the parade yesterday, a first for him to miss out on such a grand event.
Some sadness fell over this weekend, as we marked the last year for Elizabeth to march in the Labor Day parade. Only one of many lasts for all the seniors at THS. We look forward to her graduation and her moving on to bigger and better things.
Here are a couple of photos of this weekend, hope you all enjoy them. God Bless you!
Elizabeth on the left holding the Colorado State flag for the National Anthem.
Waiting to march in the Labor Day parade in Trinidad.
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