New Year!!!

Just sitting here thinking and watching the posts on Facebook. As I think back over this year, I have to say it was a pretty good year. David did manage to get his disability increased some and that has helped our financial situation. I am working part-time to help with what the VA does not cover.

James has truly blossomed at College America. He has 4.0 GPA and is tutoring in his spare time. Ben has been doing very well at Hinkley but does not like the schedule or the size of the student body. In October, we were told about APS Online, an online high school, he decided to enroll and will begin classes in January. He got his computer on Monday and has begun the preliminary tests to see what he knows, he is doing very well. I think he will pass some of these tests and be able to skip some classes. He is looking forward to being able to progress at his own pace instead of staying with the class. He might even graduate earlier than May of 2011. He is also checking into taking classes at Community College of Aurora while attending high school so that he can graduate with an Associates degree.

Beth is living in Trinidad with her fiance, Derek. No wedding date has been set, but that is ok, they can take their time and plan the wedding they want. She is working two jobs and seems to be making it on her own.

Life is starting to get better little bits at a time. GOD has Blessed us in so many ways. We pray for all our family and friends to have a great New Year and the receive some of the Blessings we have and that we continue to receive.

God Bless Everyone!!

Christmas 2009

We had a great Christmas this year. First, we were in our new home, even though we bought it in May, it still feels like new to us. Being the first Christmas in our home, we celebrated by having Christmas morning here instead of going to Mom and Dad's. Although, we should have spent the night there since the heat went out in our house. We just added more blankets and turned on the oven to take the chill off. Christmas morning was great, we opened gifts and laughed so much.

We loaded the car about 11 am and drove over to Mom and Dad's for the big family gathering and Christmas dinner. What another great time, with all my sister's there, even though Jenni had to leave early due to just having had surgery on the 22nd. Tanya has a new man in her life, he brought his three boys and his parents, Candy and Mike are great fun to be with. We sure enjoyed Thanksgiving with them and were glad to reciprocate with dinner at Mom and Dad's.

On Saturday, we got someone to come out and look at our furnace, took a bit of time but he got it working. Then we waited for Beth and Derek to arrive to open gifts with them. It was a late night but we had such a good time. Then on Sunday, we went over to Jenni and Mark's to open gifts there as Larissa had been gone over Christmas and did not arrive home until late Saturday night. After the fun of opening gifts, we played Balderdash and watched the Bronco game. What a wonderful day it was with all the family packed into their small home, so much love and laughter.

Can't believe Christmas has come and gone, the New Year will be upon us very quickly as well. Time is just flying, I can't believe it will be 2010 in just a couple of days.

May God Bless you all in the coming year and always!!!

Getting Older

I just celebrated (mourned) the passing of another year in my life. This year was particularly hard for me. Usually I don't mind getting a year older, usually I am truly celebrating it. This year, I just wanted to sit down and cry, something I have done many times the last few months. With no medical insurance, I am not able to go to the doctor to confirm my suspicions, I believe I am going through menopause.

I have many of the symptoms that others have mentioned they experience. Night sweats, sleepless nights, hot flashes, severe mood swings, and extremely irritable, just for starters. On the recommendation of my Mom through her questions to her doctor, I have started taking Black Cohosh Extract. I know it will take time to work but I am struggling with to have the patience to wait. I hate the hot flashes and night sweats, but I love the thought of never having a period again. I only wish I could blink my eyes and it would all be over with tomorrow. I don't know if I can hold out for the years it may take and worst of all, I don't think my family can hang on that long. I know there are days I am a complete Bitch (for lack of a better word) but I can't control this. There are days I want to jump out of my skin and days I want to sit and cry all day long.

If anyone reading this has a better suggestion for helping with the symptoms, please email me at zehrfamily@msn.com. I welcome all suggestions, just put in the subject line something about this blog. I wish all of you the very best and if we come in contact and I am a Bitch, please remember what you have read.

God Bless Everyone!!

Thanks Veterans

A friend posted this on Facebook recently and reminded me how much I do Love Jesus!

Why do we sleep in church, but stαy αwαke through α 3 hour movie? Why is it so hαrd to tαlk to God, but so eαsy to gossip? Why is it so eαsy to ignore α Godly text messαge, but re-send the nαsty ones? Are you going to post this on your stαtus or ignore it? Jesus sαid "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my fαther."

Today, and everyday, we need to THANK the men and women who have sacrificed so much to give us our FREEDOM. REMEMBER those who gave the ULTIMATE sacrifice.

Thanks Dad, Thanks David, Thanks all Veterans past and present!!!

September 5, 2009

Today, I watched one of my dearest and oldest friends get married. It was a very joyous occasion and I was so thrilled and honored to be included in the audience. Paula and I have been through so much together and it caused me to think. I am so grateful for my husband, my children even with all the hardships we have been thru, my sisters, my parents, my extended family, and my friends. I have always been so thankful for my family but I began to wonder if I ever thought about my friends. I don't know that I have ever told my friends how much they mean to me and how they have touched my life. That is going to change, from this day forward, not only am I going to let my family know more often what they mean to me, but I am going to make sure my friends know!! God, Family, Friends this is how life should be measured! Now I need to live up to that and make sure that all those that are important in my life know exactly how important they are! Thank you God for all those wonderful people in my family and who are my friends! God Bless each of you who read this and know you are IMPORTANT TO ME!!

H1N1 or Swine Flu

This wretched virus has hit our family! It all began with our nephew Chance last week showing signs of a simple cold. My sister Michelle, his Mom, had to leave town for business and my parents were out of state for my Aunt's funeral, so we volunteered to let him come stay with us. Since he and Ben attend the same school it seemed the best solution for all and it allowed David the opportunity to help tend the dogs at Mom's when he took the boy's to school and picked them up. Little did we know then what we know now.

Seems Chance has a friend that was exhibiting flu symptoms but did not miss any school, so he spread his germs all over. Chance on the other hand, was only showing signs of a cough and a slight fever, something that we thought was a slight cold. We kept him home from school at Michelle's insistence and called the doctor to see him. His doctor could not get him in until Thursday of last week, so we just kept him home as things got worse. In the meantime, Ben started coughing and having a sore throat, so home he stayed. Since Mom and Dad came home late Wednesday, she agreed to take Chance to the doctor which was a good thing for us as David had become sick on Wednesday and was not going to be able to take him. James and I were feeling great.

Friday rolled around and I was having a nagging cough in the morning but thought nothing of it, so I went to work leaving my sick child and hubby at home. As the day wore on, the body aches, fever and chills started. About 4 pm, Mom called me at work to say they got the results on Chance, "he has swine flu" is all I heard. I knew that this was not good and that what was happening at home and to me was probably the same thing. I left work as fast as I could finish up and get out of there to prevent infecting anyone else. I got home, told James to take David to the VA to get him some help and went inside to work on helping Ben and myself to feel better. You see there isn't much you can do except rest, drink lots of fluids and rest more! But with David's health condition so unstable from the lymphoma it is important that he be seen quickly. He spent over 10 hours there getting IV's and anti-viral meds for swine flu. On Saturday, Ben and I went to University Hospital to confirm if we had it also, which they did.

Since that time, the three of us have been resting, reading, watching tv, playing on the computer, or sleeping. We have been drinking lots of tea, water, grape and orange juice and enjoying the pots of chicken and hamburger soups my mom and sister made for us. Take it from the 3 of us, follow the doctor's orders, rest, rest, drink, drink, rest, rest, and don't go back to work until your fever has been gone without medication control for 24 hours. I hope none of you get this but we already know several of our family members in other states have gotten it. We love you and hope you are well soon. God Bless everyone!!!

August!

Wow this year is just flying by! It has been a year of major changes for us. Beginning in December 2008 with the move to Aurora, through hard times with Elizabeth, the death of my Uncle Wallace, the death of David's Uncle Leonard, the death of David's Aunt Anna, Elizabeth's graduation, Ben's surgeries, Ben changing schools, living in a camper for 6 months and the move to a new home of our own.

The move to Aurora was tough, afterall, after 14 years in Trinidad we had a solid foundation of friends and "family". The hardest part of moving was leaving our daughter there. She wanted to finish high school, afterall, it was only 5 months until graduation. During the last months of her high school life, things got pretty bad between all of us and her. She turned 18 in January and she wanted to live life on her own. She was living with her boyfriend and his family, they had some major health issues, she was missing her family especially Ben and trying to deal with preparing for graduation. Of course the minute she turned 18, she didn't want anymore comments from us on how she should do anything in her life. She is now an adult and we have to face that reality. Life goes on.....

Ben had the first of two operations to fix a problem with his hips in March. He says it was a great relief to get rid of the pain the excess cartilidge was causing and looked forward to the 2nd surgery in June. He was enjoying the home bound teaching he received while recuperating. He now says school is such a drag. I think some of that is due to the fact he had no summer per sey. He was on crutches most of the summer thereby limiting his mobility to go do things with his friends. I have advised him to get more involved in school activities, it truly helps make the year go by faster.

James has been working most of the time since the move. He decided to take a semester off from college to allow himself time to adjust to the new surroundings and to get his financial aid in place. He began working at Elitch Gardens in April and has continued with good reviews since then. He applied for entrance to Pickens Technical College but was unable to get things moving for the fall semester. Now he says he is going to see about CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) to get the ball rolling towards nursing school. If he gets his CNA, he can work and go to school to get his degree.

I have been working since June for a Liquor store near our home. It is good to have the extra income to help with all the expenses. I have not stopped applying for others positions as being a liquor store clerk is not my career goal...LOL! David is still trying to find work of some kind but with all the health problems with his back and lymphoma it is very hard. He is now going to see about getting his VA status set to unemployable, that should help as it will increase his monthly payment. He has been seeing the orthopedic doctors about his back pain and now they have determined he needs cervical steriod injections. They will give a series of 3, if they do not help then he will need to have fusion surgery on his back. Time will tell.

As I posted earlier we have been dealing with the loss of severl family members. We are also praying for my Aunt Fran who has been so very sick for the longest time. We are thankful for the good health of the rest of the family.

I guess this is all the news for now, God Bless each of you who follow my blog and Bless your families.

Rollercoaster

Life is so much of a rollercoaster! So many ups and downs and many take your breath away. Now don't get me wrong I like rollercoasters but only when I want to ride not everyday of my life. I really wish things could be on a more even keel everyday with only special times for the highs and lows.

Things have been pretty good with Beth up until last night. It was not a fight between her and I but another problem that she has to deal with. However, she needed Mom and Dad to talk to and to cry on our shoulders. This took until almost 3 am to get her calm enough to sleep, it was nice even with the lack of sleep.

Ben is doing well in his recuperation, he is off the crutches but must be careful not to turn to quickly or get too rowdie. He loves that now he can go swimming, so maybe the last half of summer will better for him. Ben and Katie are doing good, she is a joy to have at the house to occupy him, but she is also a sweet girl to be around.

James is continuing to work lots of hours at Elitch's and enjoying it. They have concerts there and when they do and he is working he gets to listen. He and his girlfriend, Kara, are doing well. She is very sweet and we enjoy having her come over to spend time with James and the rest of us.

David and I have been working on the house very slowly so that neither one of us gets overly tired. We are going thru things and deciding whether to keep things or set them aside for a yard sale or throw them away. He continues to look for a job. I have been applying for different jobs but for now at least I have some income coming in from the liquor store. We are enjoying seeing old friends every so often and just getting out of the house.

Life is getting better slowly but surely, just watch out for the dips and peaks!!! LOL!! God Bless Everyone.

To Catch You Up

I know it has been a while since I posted on here, so I need to catch you all up on things going on around the Zehr household.

As I posted before we have moved into our own home, a mobile home, but still a home. We began moving in on May 23 and finished unloading the truck on May 24. We are currently trying to make it all fit, get rid of it or store whatever won't fit and can't be sold at a yard sale. The weekend after the move in was spent putting up a shed at the back of the house to store Christmas decorations, things that we can't get rid of but don't have room for now, and things for the yard sale. In the process of getting the shed up, Mom and I were at Home Depot to pick up things, we ran into to a nice man who offered to help us load the supplies into Mom's car. During the process we learned he is an active duty Air Force Sargent who asked if we needed help putting up the shed. I gladly accepted his offer. The next day he came by and spent the entire weekend helping us get everything done. We have a beautiful shed for all the stuff we have overflowing the house at this time. This has helped with getting some room to walk around, it also allows us to unpack boxes one at a time and then bring in another one. The process of setting up the house has been slow, as of today we are still living with boxes and looking for stuff that we need.

The week before we moved we were in Trinidad to watch our daughter graduate. It was a bittersweet weekend. We were excited for her but with the past problems it was not all happiness. She looked beautiful and is now engaged to be married to her love, Derek. That was a surprise of sorts, we had been saying we thought sometime within the year after graduation they would get engaged, but we didn't expect it at graduation. We are happy for them but a little concerned that she might be rushing things, she is putting off college for now to work and plan her wedding. I pray she will decide to go back to college even it is only for her Associates from Trinidad State Junior college.

Ben had surgery on his left hip to correct the same problem he had with the right one, on June 2nd. He is doing well with his recuperation other than one set back. Just before his two week check up, he slipped on the kitchen floor and landed on the left hip. We had to take him in to see his surgeon the next day. We got the good news, seems he may have popped an internal stitch and torn a muscle but no need to go back in to fix anything. He seems to be much better the last couple of days. He is looking forward to his four week checkup when he might be able to get to go swimming. I hope this will come about as he has been so cooped up so far and is so bored.

James has been working so hard at Elitch's. He must be doing so well cause he just began a 10 day schedule of no days off. He has been having a great time when he is not working, the benefits of working at an amusement park are good. He took Ben and Chance to spend the day at Elitch's a few days before Ben's surgery so that Ben would have some fun to think about while he was recuperating for 6 weeks. Then he went to a concert at the park after spending a day there with his girlfriend, they both said it was great.

David has been playing house husband for now. I am hoping he will get a part-time job soon as he is going crazy as well as driving me nuts. I started a job at a liquor store in Watkins, about 3 miles from home. I am working for a man that Michelle works with, she recommended me for the job. Thanks Sis!! So far it is OK, not exactly what I want for a career, but for now it helps with the bills and what VA Disability does not cover. I am still submitting applications in hopes of a job that will suit me more.

That's about all the news here for now. I will try to be more diligent about posting more often to keep everyone up to date. For now, God Bless Everyone!! Come visit when you can!

Moved and Unpacking

We have moved to our "new" home in Aurora. We bought a 1994 Liberty Single wide mobile home that was previously a rental. Yes we have a few things to repair and it has not been cared for in the best manner. Needless to say this has eaten up the remainder of our backpay from the VA. We will try to start saving for a few other things such as a swamp cooler. For now, we have gotten the storage shed up and just about finished the roof, James will get up there tomorrow to put the ridge shingles on for us. Then we need to caulk it in spots and prime the new wood that the company did not prime. Eventually the house and the shed will be painted the same color as this is a requirement of the park we live in. Much discussion will go into choosing a color.

Right now it feels good to be sleeping in our own bed and having much more room to move around without tripping over each other. We are tripping over boxes but I think I have come up with a plan to stop this. I have asked David and the boys to put all the boxes in the shed for the time being, then I will go thru each box one at a time and put things away in the house. This way we can clean the rooms first as they got really tracked up with mud and dirt from the move. The mud came from all the rain we received while moving over Memorial Day weekend, we layed towels down and asked everyone to wipe their feet but you still get it tracked over the new carpet.

Things are slowly getting back to normal for the four of us, seems strange to say that but with Beth living in Trinidad and planning a wedding, I need to get used to it. James is working very hard not only at home but at Elitch's, an amusement park for those of you who do not know. I have not been able to work at this time due to all the moving chaos and the fact we have no phone. Ben is preparing for the surgery on his left hip, Tuesday, June 2nd at noon, I will keep you all posted on his status. David is going to start looking for a job very soon, again, he and I both have a lead on one about 3 miles from here for a friend of my sister, Michelle. Everyone please cross your fingers and toes and say some prayers for this job to work out for us both.

God Bless you all!!

Goodbye THS and Trinidad

Graduation is done! May 17, 2009 we watched our daughter walk across the floor to receive her diploma from Trinidad High. It was a bittersweet moment for both of us. We were thrilled to see her complete her high school education but it means the end of her youth. There are several other factors that go along with this milestone. Most of you know about the problems we have been having with Elizabeth in the past year, many of which have been compounded with our move back to Aurora 6 months ago and her 18th birthday in January. She continues to tell us, not in specific words, but with innuendos, that we are not wanted in her life, yet when something big happens she comes running to us first. This is such a hard thing to deal with, I want to take her in my arms when things happen and just hold her but she pushes me away. So I have come to the conclusion that I must stay away, take the news at a distance and wish her all the best. I was able to hug her and tell her congratulations on her graduation and I told her I love her but the reception from her was very cold. Take it and move on..I told myself. The news of her engagement was a shock to a point but was also expected at sometime within this year of graduation. So I took it with shock the night before graduation when they came to our hotel to tell us, wishing them nothing but happiness which is what every parent wants for their child. The next day I was over my shock enough to go to her party and wish them both the best and to welcome Derek into the family. Going to take some time to get used to saying son-in-law and at least for now I can say she is not pregnant. She does have a job lined up and will begin working soon, I even know and respect her boss, so I am proud of her for doing this as much as I am proud of her for graduating.

We will be saying our final goodbyes to Trinidad this next weekend when we take a moving truck down to retrieve our household goods which have been storage there since the move to Aurora. We have been approved for and will close on a 16x80 ft single wide mobile home in eastern Aurora this week. Though David still does not have a job and I only have my part-time job, we did get a partial increase from the VA which is enough to live on. The mobile home is pre-owned and in good shape, not our dream home but is much better than continuing to live in my parents 5th wheel. We are going to live in this place for at least a year to see if our credit scores improve to purchase something more like what we want. For now, it is 3 bedrooms - one for each of the boys, 2 baths and more square footage than we have had in quite a while. The best part is the laundry room that is so large we can put our freezer in there along with the washer and dryer and still have room to move comfortably. I will take some photos this week when we do our walk through and post them soon.

Thank you everyone who reads this blog and keeps us in your prayers. We will continue to pray for all of you. God Bless everyone!!

Mother's Day 2009

I had really been dreading this day, due to all the problems with Beth. But I have to say, it has been one of the very best Mother's Days I have ever had. First, the tradition on breakfast with my Mom kicked off the day at 9 am. We take our Mom and our kids come along to treat us. So, breakfast for 12 was great. All of us got flowers from our mom and I had one from my boys. There was also a gift from Mom and one from the boys. The made me laugh and cry at the same time with the cards they chose. Then after breakfast we took pictures which I will post later when I get some time. Then the boys treated for me to have a pedicure for the very first time. Turns out that my sister's children were treating them and the grandkids split up the charges for their grandmother to get not only a pedicure but a manicure as well. Then my boys wanted to take their grandmother and I to a movie. We took a raincheck on that as there is nothing that she and I wanted to see at this time. Then we got home to dinner cooking for us. So all in all a great day. I missed you Beth and I hope you had a good day with Marlene.

Happy Mother's Day all and God Bless!

Realizations

As I read the newest blog posting from an online friend, The Hawn Family Weekly, I came to the realization that the problems I have been experiencing with my daughter pale in comparison to the trials this young family is facing. They have two children, both born prematurely and both with problems that many premies face. They have endured by Faith to get their first born, Charlotte to the age of 2. She still has many problems with blood pressure, walking, and her heart but she seems to be catching up to other 2 year olds quickly. I have watched her go from a very sick little one to a cute little bundle of joy for her parents.

Just three months ago, this family faced the birth of another little one, this time a boy. Ryan was born prematurely but quickly moved out of the NICU to come home earlier than his sister did. He seemed to be doing so well until I read the new posting today. It seems Ryan has the same genetic abnormality that his sister does only it is much more severe for him. This little guy may not make it but his family has not given up and they are not turning their back on God!

If you read their posts you will see the strength of their Faith in each word. I know that no matter what happens, they will survive and they will be thanking God for every day they have with their children. That is what I should be doing instead of being depressed over Elizabeth's desire to live her own life without us, I should be celebrating and remembering all the time I have had with her. Then, if or when, she changes her mind to come back to our family, I will be that much more happy. Maybe by taking this direction, I will enjoy my boys more and I pray it will make me a better person towards everyone. I know I have been grumpy and depressed, but I am going to try this new approach and look ahead to the times with my boys and husband. I will be praying for Elizabeth when I pray for strength and patience.

Pray for me, David, James, Ben and Beth please, to be a family once again whenever God's plan allows. God Bless you all!

Time to let GO!

I have come to the conclusion that I must stop trying to help Elizabeth in any shape or form. She has asked many times for my advice but when I give it to her she just says I don't know what I am talking about or just plain ignores me. When she asks for help, I give it to her the best way I know how, but that does not suit her as it is not how she thinks I should have replied. If things are not done the way she thinks they should be done then she thinks I don't care. If I can't do things on her time table or schedule, then I am not making her a priority.

I have decided to sit back and do nothing but wait, to let her do things her way. I will always be here to listen and help but only when she really wants my help and in the manner in which I can help. For the time being, I pray God will give me the patience and the strength to endure. I also pray she will realize I am not the mean, selfish, uncaring person she thinks I am and come to understand I am doing things in the best way possible for the situation I am in.

I love you Beth and always will.

God Bless Everyone.

Feeling Down

I am having one of those days where nothing seems to be going as it should. All I want to do today is cry. Cry for the loss of contact with my daughter, cry for the loss of my own home, cry just to cry. I know that crying does no one any good, for me it only aggravates the headache I have had for days now and only makes it so hard to breathe due to the congestion it causes. But I just can't seem to convince myself to stop. I can't seem to find any happiness.

I feel so alone in my loss of my relationship with Beth. I often question what could I have done differently. I look at my sisters with their daughters, I see problems but I don't see the same harshness that seems to plague Beth and me. At times I am okay with not talking to her because it means there is a calmness in the house, but that only lasts for a short time because then the sadness takes over. I realize that I have made mistakes with her and that I could have done things differently but I am human, we all have to learn from our mistakes. I certainly have. I wish I could go back and do things differently but I don't know that even that would help. I can only hope and pray that Beth will realize that parents are falible and that we are learning at the same time that our children are. I pray she will see that more than anything I Love Her and only want the best for her and most of all...I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR HER.

As for being sad about not having my own home...where do I begin. First I need to say I love my family! But after living away from them for more than 20 years, this has been the most trying time of my life. I love being here to help Mom and Dad but at times I feel so in the way. I don't know if anyone will understand without feeling hurt, but I feel like I am losing me. I pray things will change fast before I totally fall apart and like Humpty Dumpty, I can't be put back together again.

Ben Surgery Number 2

Ben is recovering very well from the first surgery. He will be going back to school next week when Spring Break is over.

His surgery on the left hip is scheduled of June 2nd. This will hopefully allow him enough time to recuperate in time to march in the marching season at Hinkley and possibly time to be ready to play soccer. Playing soccer is a bit doubtful as the doctor needs to see how well he recovers from this operation, but Lacrosse in the spring is a go.

Will keep you all posted on things go as they come up, until then, May God Bless you all each and everyday.

Right Hip done...

Ben had the surgery to correct the problem with his right hip on March 3 as scheduled. He was released from the hospital on March 4. It is now post op day 2 (March 5) and he seems to be doing well. He is having some pain, it didn't help that the pharmacy neglected to give me his pain meds when I picked up his prescription yesterday. They only gave me the refills for his inhalers and stomach meds, no pain meds for the first night home. Luckily, I have tylenol with codiene for my migraines. I called the doctor on call and asked if it would be okay to give him one since the meds he should have had were still at the pharmacy. Luckily, the doctor on call was the surgeon who assisted Ben's primary doctor and had written the prescriptions so I didn't have to give an entire history just for a few pills.

Today, Ben feels he may have overdone it with physical therapy yesterday and is taking it a bit easier today. He is sleeping and using the CPM (Constant Passive Motion) machine to keep his joints and muscles from stiffing up. The machine gently moves the leg from straight to 90 degrees bent for as long as Ben feels comfortable with it. He says he loves this machine because it keeps his knee from hurting being in one position so much. He still is not able to sit in a regular chair for longer than a few minutes. He must recline so that his body is not at the 90 degree angle most of us are supposed to sit at.

When he begins classes here at home next week, he will be sitting in a reclining wheelchair for the two hour session each day. He will also use the wheelchair when he returns to school in a few weeks since he will still be on crutches and limited on how much weight he can place on the leg. We have discussed this in great length, we all feel it is much safer for him to return to school in the chair since the floors are tile, there are over 1500 students in the halls for passing periods and too many chances for him to get knocked down.

The last few days have been such a blur, I had to check my computer today to know what day of the week it was. We were in Trinidad over the weekend to say our goodbyes to a very dear young man. Christian was only 9 years old when he passed away in February but this child knew that the Lord was with him. The family had such a loving and uplifting service for him, I don't think I have ever been to a more powerful service. I will never forget Christian and the love and smiles he brought to this world.

Will keep all of you posted when the next surgery for Ben is scheduled. Until there is more to report on anything going on in our lives...May God Bless each and everyone!!

Not Much Happening Lately

I realized I have not posted anything to my blog in a few weeks. There has not been much happening with our family. Ben continues to have increasing pain in his legs and hips, so he's on more Tylenol for now. The surgery to correct the problem with his hips is still scheduled for March 3 only now it will be at 11:30 am not 7:30 am. He will have the MRI of his back and his hips on February 26th, this will take several hours as they also want to do a complete bone scan. They are looking for any other problems in the hips and for a stress fracture to the back that the hip problem may have caused. If they find a stress fracture in the back then we will be seeing Neurosurgeon to determine what they will have to do to fix this.

My job hunt is temporarily on hold so that I can care for Ben. David is still looking but still nothing good to report. James is also looking for a job until this summer when he will be taking a few classes at Aurora Community College and then back to full-time in the fall. We visited with Elizabeth last week and she is doing very well. She is talking to us again but on her own terms. She has a cell phone but will not give us the number for now. We either leave a message at school for her to call us or one with Derek's Dad. We only call when there is something really important like her brother's surgery. She seems happy and our conversations are much more calm, I really like this, although I really miss talking to her everyday or seeing her.

Mom is doing well, she will be having another MRI this week to check the status of the Chiari malformation, then she will see the Neurosurgeon again for an update on what they must do. We continue to pray that surgery will not be necessary. Dad is still waiting on the doctors to determine when he must have surgery on his knee, he has had problems for years, but nothing serious. The rest of the family, Michelle and her kids, Jenni and family, and Tanya & Emma seem to be doing well also. We don't see them much but more than we ever did while living in Trinidad.

God Bless Everyone and drop us a line sometime at zehrfamily@msn.com.

Ben is having surgery

Ben will be having surgery to correct a problem with his hips. He has Femoral Acetbular Impingement (FAI) also know as Athlete's Hip. This is a condition of too much friction in the hip joint, basically the ball and socket rub abnormally creating damage to the hip joint. There are three types of conditions with FAI, he has the cam form which is articular cartilage which forms on the surface of the femur creating a buldge. This buldge is interfering with the normal movement of his hips and causing pain.

The doctors will have to go in much like doing hip replacement surgery, that is they will have to go in, remove the bone from the socket, check the socket for damage, shave off the extra cartilage and then put everything back together. It will take 2-3 hours for the entire process, he will be on crutches for 6-8 weeks, but should be back to top form in time to play soccer in the fall.

They will be doing the right hip first then about 8 weeks later they will do the left one. They can't do both at once due to not being able to walk with any weight on the one leg for 6-8 weeks. Ben is looking forward to getting rid of the pain from the hips but not the pain or recovery from the surgery. He will be home for about 2-3 weeks then we will send him back to school in a wheelchair as it is too dangerous to attend high school on crutches with not much weight bearing on the one leg.

Surgery is scheduled for March 3 at 7:30 am at The Children's Hospital in Aurora. He will be in the hospital about a week. Since we have been through most of the surgery procedures and recovery with David, we should have an easy time helping Ben with his.

Please keep all of us but especially Ben in your thoughts and prayers. God Bless Everyone!

Aunt Fran

My Aunt Fran is in the end stages of Emphysema. We just returned from her home in Jefferson, Texas. Mom, Dad, Michelle, Chelsea, Chance, Ben, James and I went to say our goodbyes. When we started out for Texas last week, none of thought she would even last until we got there. She sure surprised everyone, she woke up one day and said "I want to go home." From that point on things went into full swing to get hospice arranged, a hospital bed at home and to get her out of the hospital after almost two weeks. She came home on Friday, stayed in the bed all weekend, but today Mom says she was sitting up in a chair. Isn't God amazing, he truly listens and answers prayer. Mom says she and Dad will be leaving for home on Friday this week, they feel that they are no longer needed at this time. They had stayed since Aunt Fran is Dad's sister and he wanted to have the extra time alone with her, but there are so many others around to help. This feisty lady may surprise us all again and live for many more weeks, months or years, only God knows for sure. Until the time comes, we will be praying for God's will in whatever may come.

Goodnight all and God Bless.

Job Search Update #3

I guess God has decided that the job for David in Westminster is not where he should be. David went for the interview, waited the hour and a half for them to call, no call. Oh well, on to the next.

I got a lead on a job here in Aurora near the house. I am going to check it out this morning about 8:30. Crossing my fingers and saying some prayers this is the one for me. My niece Katie works at the same place and she is the one who recommended I apply. It is a good company, have had a couple of other family and past family members work there.

May God Bless you all!!

Job Search Update #2

David and I went to a Job Fair yesterday and handed out several resumes. Today, David got a call from one of them for an interview. He would be working for the Dolby Institute as a recruiter. He will be meeting them tomorrow at 2pm, so everyone please cross your fingers and say a few prayers for him. Although the job would be in Westminster, about 30 mins from here, we do not care, we will move to where he can find a job.

Keep you posted, until then God Bless Everyone!

Job Search Update

Got an email regarding the job with the Secretary of State's office, says I am 14 out of all the candidates for three positions. I could move up, but, they say that is not likely. I will remain on the list for any other positions that might come up, just have to keep my application active. I plan on doing just that and watching the State site for any other job openings anywhere else.

In the meantime, I will continue to browse the newspapers and internet for anything I think I can qualify for. Also trying to keep David on the prowl for jobs, he's submitted several applications for jobs at the Veteran's Administration, so keeping our fingers crossed and praying that one of them will come thru.

As always, God Bless Everyone!!

Depressed

Just want to post this so everyone will know and there will not be a lot of questions, but lots of prayer. Elizabeth decided today to stop all contact, in whatever form, with her family. She refuses to speak with any of us, email us, or text us. This includes not only her dad and I, but her brothers, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Please be praying for us to come thru this and to be a stronger family. I feel like I have lost a part of myself, but I know that tears won't help, although I have cried a river today. Thank you in advance for your support and for your understanding if I don't want to discuss it.

God Bless Everyone!!

Family Update

Just wanted to let everyone know that Mom will not be having surgery at this time. The third doctor she spoke with is well aquainted with the other two. He says he would not recommend surgery at this time but will monitor her closely over the next several months. She goes back in 3 months to see if there is any significant change, in the meantime, if anything happens she is to call and go in. Praise God for his blessings!

We are still looking for jobs, David has applied for several federal jobs as have I. I had a test on the 9th of Jan for a job with the Secretary of State here in Colorado. I should have those results within 2 weeks, then hopefully on to the next level which is two more tests. If I pass all these tests then I hope to be high enough on the list to get an interview. Please be praying for David and I to find something soon.

All of us are missing seeing Elizabeth's face each day but know that she is doing well in Trinidad. She is looking forward to prom in April and graduation in May. She is having some problems with the truck we left for her to use and we aren't able to help financially until we get some jobs. Please be in prayer for this situation as well.

The boys are doing great, Ben is back in school and James will be when the colleges here go back next week. He is still trying to decide whether to attend Aurora Community College or Pickens Techinical School. He appears to be leaning toward Pickens as he has struggled so much with the required classes for English, he has a slight learning problem with reading. If he attends Pickens he can take the classes he needs for Nursing and skip the english ones. We feel this might be the best use of his talent, time and our money. Please keep this in your prayers as well.

God Blessings on each of you keep in touch when you can.

Enough

When is enough really enough?
What do I have to do to make things enough for others?
What do I have to give to make something enough for someone?
What do I have to sacrifice to make it enough?
I really wish someone could tell me what enough would be!
I pray God will tell me soon when enough is enough.

The New Year!

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009! I pray you will be nicer to me and my family than '08 was.

With all the turmoil in our lives since June 30, 2007, things have got to get better this year. We are now in a new (old) city. We are looking for new jobs. We are sleeping in a camper and sharing the use of the house with 5 other people for a total of 9 people in this house most of the time. Things are slowly turning around for us and I must be patient.

Please keep us in your prayers, David and Mom especially. Mom for her health and David that he will come out of the depression and other problems he has been dealing with. We pray for all our family and friends everyday and wish all God's Blessings everyday!